A Definitive Ranking of Thanksgiving Foods

5. Cranberry Sauce

Why? WHy? WHY? That is all I have to ask about this. Every time I see the gelatinous lob of cranberry sauce slide out of the can I get wildly uncomfortable. Your grandma probably loves this stuff, but I DON'T. 

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4. Turkey

I know, I know, this is a bold claim to make. (source)

I am not a turkey fan. I find it often dry, bland, and quite frankly, boring. Compared to chicken, turkey is the inferior poultry. (source)

3. Any Vegetable

Listen, I know it is important to have all sorts of different colors on your plate and eat your fruits and veggies and yadda yadda, but when it comes to Thanksgiving, I am not looking for veggies. I. WANT. CARBS. So while green beans and broccoli and such smothered in butter and cheese are delicious, they are not quite as good as what's to come. (source)

2. Dinner Rolls/Bread

Dinner rolls on a holiday are scientifically proven to taste better. Don't look that up, just trust me. A dinner roll is an INCREDIBLY important addition to Thanksgiving dinner. What else are you supposed to use to sop up all the excess gravy and whatnot when your plate is starting to become empty? Trick question, dinner roll is the only acceptable answer. (source)

1. Mashed Potatoes

Ah finally. The pièce de résistance. Mashed. Potatoes. If you don't like mashed potatoes, I would just like to know who hurt you. This dish holds my heart year round, but I get particularly excited for a Thanksgiving mashed potato. They really bring a Thanksgiving plate together and go with every food PERFECTLY. Everyone loves mashed potatoes and there's a reason why. (source)

I know I've said some controversial things today, but I hope we can all just unite over a common excitement to see how much food we can eat in one sitting. Happy Thanksgiving!! 

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