Parietals. The word itself makes every freshman girl (and a few sophomores in Meagher, yikes) want to scream. A concept that makes PC feel like we’re back in the 50’s is arguably (DEFINITELY) the worst rule on campus. But awesome news—if you’re itching to do some late-night studying with the cute boy who sits in front of you in your Civ lecture, or you’re trying to sneak your high school flame (who you’ll inevitably break up with by Thanksgiving) into your dorm late at night to stay over, then take some advice from a girl who’s been there, done that.
1. Get to know the late night worker
A simple yet, easily forgotten method. We tend to forget that the people who man the front desks and sign in guests during parietals are students just like us. Think about it, becoming buddy-buddy with Sarah at the front desk in McVinney by chit-chatting with her for a few while she’s all alone on a Friday night may score you some sympathy. She just might look the other way when you walk in with a dude later.
2. The Dress Up Method
Attempted by few, successful by even fewer, this one is risky but it can be done. Making boyfriend Brad from high school wear a woman’s winter jacket (a fur hood is a MUST), and bolt past the security desk, could convince a half-asleep desk worker that he’s a chick. Bonus points if you can find a pair of shoes he can fit into to up your chances.
3. Back Entrances/Low Windows
The classic rookie move, easy but semi-reliable. Get to know your building and figure out back entrances (beware of alarms) or find a low-level window to convince hottie from civ to crawl through.
4. Wait it Out
Probably the least exciting method, all you have to do is wait till the security desk worker leaves. Heads up, if you’re up for the challenge, they normally leave at about 2:30 on weekends, but they’re known to occasionally stay even longer.
5. Travel in a Herd
If you get a large enough group of friends to walk in with you late at night and have your boo stand mixed in toward the back, there’s a decent chance he’ll be able to make it past the lobby.
6. It Takes a Team
Speaking of getting your friend’s involved, you’re going to need a little bit help from you’re pals. Traditional all-girls dorms are like a prison, and an RA is usually wandering the halls at some ungodly hour of the night. Having a friend at each major turning point of the halls if you can, and one in your hallway to make sure the coast is clear, is ideal.
7. Just Go To The Guy’s Dorm
I promise you, if you haven’t figured it out already, it’s a million times easier to get into a boy’s dorm past parietals. Call it sexist, but it’s fact. They’re either enforced pretty loosely or not at all. You can thank me later (and so can your roommates!!).
There you have it, a beginners guide into sneaking past parietals. Whether it’s a late night study session (LOL) or you just want to share some yuck truck with Johnny from seminar in the comfort of your own room, these tips have a decent success rate. Happy sneaking!