10 Makeup Pointers from a Guy: What He Likes (and What He Doesn’t!)

Ever wonder if your time-sucking efforts in self-beautification—plucking, peeling, and plumping—actually mean anything to the guy—you’re with/want to be with/are no longer with but want to remind of the irrevocable mistake he made in ending it? Well, wonder no more. I have scoured the seven seas (ok, like four internet sites) for answers to your most burning questions about what guys really think of your look! Forewarning: these pointers are from the male POV so do not take them too seriously. And to help you devote less time to self-prettification so you can concentrate on-studying/stalking/sleeping—I’ve thrown in lots o’ links to miscellaneous albeit relevant makeup items. Enjoy!
1. Don’t add a second, third, and fourth layer of face paint: Not only is that not kind to your young skin, guys don’t seem to care much for it either. Next time you’re in front of the mirror armed with foundation and concealer in hand(s) remember that subtlety is key. Don’t over do it; a little mascara, eyeliner, and a pale gloss are all you need! Ask you’re roommate if it’s obvious you’re wearing makeup. If she screams “Heck yes!” then go back and take some off. Too much goop is not a good look on anyone.
2. Don’t gimme that lip!I won’t run the gamut of every genre of lip product on the market—lipstick, lip stain, lip liner, lip gloss, lip balm—because I can guarantee you the typical bloke can’t really tell the difference, but I can speak on the basics. A lot of guys find lipstick “off-putting” so stay out of Grandma’s makeup set! Soft, natural, well-moisturized lips are the way to go. A little gloss and you’re on your sexy way!
3. Spritz, spritz, done: Wear a light perfume and don’t soak your skin and clothes in it. Do what I’ve always done: Spritz it in the air and walk through it. Trust me when I say once you’ve gotten into a habit of using it heavily it’s hard to tell when enough is enough. So ask an honest friend for her opinion before you step outside and onsmellers, guys and girls alike, wonder if you’re trying to compete with the fragrant spring blooms.
4. This will come as a comfort to you if you can’t get to a nail salon: Contrary to the sheer conviction with which you glop on that topcoat, he doesn’t really care about your nails. Get a mani-pedi on a weekly basis if you want, but as long as there isn’t any obscene knuckle hair, cat-like talons, or some type of nail fungus, that dude really isn’t interested in your fingernails.
5.  Stop bending over backwards to get luscious locks: Honestly, whether you want to sport the straight or curly do is up to you; different guys like different hair textures. Just make sure that it’s soft and that it smells like heaven. Also, going back to hairstyle, most men prefer that you wear it down. Anything extremely styled or tightly pulled back can make you seem really unapproachable…images of Nanny McPhee pre-wedding come to mind.
6. The ultimate sign of health and femininity: Soft, glowing skin. Ladies, it’s time to slough off those dead skin cells and eliminate that prickly hair. You will need a sweet exfoliating body scruband a razor designed for a woman’s body. With these products you’ll have smooth, touchable, delectable skin in no time. And someone to appreciate it even sooner (wink, wink).

You have beautiful eyes? Minimal eye makeup is best. By that I mean put the Cinderella blue eyeshadow down now. Guys don’t want to see colors reminiscent of a Skittles rainbow on your face. Either apply a little volume-maximizing mascara or eyeliner or go for the intensely dark smoky eye look. Keep it simple yet powerful and stay away from Crayola inspiration.
8.     And here’s the real brow raiser: Yes, some of us do have a tendency to pluck every last stray baby hair to shape our eyebrows as perfectly as we know how. But is this painstaking detail really necessary? It turns out that guys don’t even notice. So as long as you don’t have a unibrow or two super-plucked, super-terrifying eyebrows you’re good.
9.  Pretty left field: When it’s exam week (or any typical Princeton week) aren’t we all like 10x more prone to bad hair days? I, not being a baseball aficionado, don’t know how left field this is, but it turns out that the next time you’re in an unkempt hair predicament you can put on a baseball cap, which will not only tame thy scraggly locks, but will also put many a cute boy at ease (need I wink more).
10. Does my breath stink? Instead of chewing gum all the livelong day in a vastly unappealing effort to freshen your breath, try breath freshening strips (cue Listerine) and give your jaws a break! After all, you may end up needing them for something else (Wink to the 1oth power).

May these tips make your Princeton life simpler and your love life hotter (if it’s nonexistent, hopefully these tips will serve to ignite the fire)! Au Revoir, Princess/Collegiate.
P.S. If you know of any pointers that apply to self-prettification, let me know below!
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