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Meet Jonathan Parsons ’13!

Meet runner Jonathan Parsons. After seeing him on Campus Cuties, he’ll be running through your mind all day.

Name: Jonathan Parsons
Year: Senior, 2013
Hometown: Vancouver, WA
Majors: Global Business & German Studies

You went to Salzburg for a whole year your sophomore year. German women or American women?
This is dangerous. I think both have their upsides, but I enjoyed spending time in Europe. They have their own thing going on. My favorite thing about German women is Oktoberfest, when the women get all dressed up in their dirndls and I’m looking fly wearing my lederhosen.

What is the girliest thing you’ve ever done?
Rocking out in my car to Taylor Swift, does that count? But then again, people often comment on the length of my shorts. I’m a long distance runner, so there are times when my shorts are shorter than the girls I’m running by. [Think shorts the length of Daisy Dukes on a guy who’s 6’4.]

Has a movie ever made you cry?
50/50 did. It’s about Seth Rogen and his best friend who is diagnosed with cancer. It was the one scene in the end when he goes into surgery that gets really powerful and brought some tears…I was surprised.

What is your favorite pickup line?
I don’t use pickup lines, but my favorite one is “If you were a Taser, you’d be set on stunning.” [He gets originality points for this one.]

What is your dream job?
Well before college it was a professional basketball player in the NBA, but then I realized I wasn’t good enough at basketball and had to turn to running. At this point my dream job would be working as a marketing executive dealing with running events and stuff. Working internationally in sports would be great too.

What’s your recipe for your perfect woman?
Four handfuls of sense of humor, two tablespoons of athleticness, three slices of modesty, two cups of intelligence and a dash of a smile. Sorry, I don’t bake much, so no guarantees on how that will come out.

Halloween’s coming up: Trick or treat. What makes you a trick and what makes you a treat?
My trick is I can be a little passive sometimes if I don’t know someone well. What makes me a treat is I’m a nice guy. I’m a caring person and a good friend to the people I’m close with.

What’s your favorite thing to dress up as for Halloween?
My mom used to make Halloween costumes when we were little and my favorite was when I got to be the Red Power Ranger. Last year I was the Hamburglar though, and that was pretty awesome too.

If you could dedicate one song to the UP girls, what song would you dedicate?
TLC’s “No Scrubs,” because I don’t want no scrubs. They can’t get no love from me, hanging out the passenger side of their best friend’s ride.

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