“I will love you forever.” “ I love being with you.” “I am so glad that you’re mine.” “You are really hot.” “To my beautiful butterfly…” Anybody recognize these buzz words for the month of February? These words, each concise and to the point, can cause a lot of anxiety for all the lovers out there. They echo in the card aisle, beckoning each card purchaser to pick it up and mull it over. The process of picking a card can be extremely overwhelming, oftentimes sending men and women alike running for the hills without a purchase.
A card is so much more than a card; everyone who has watched 500 Days of Summer knows this to be true. A card is an expression of love, friendship, or even a wish. And Valentine’s Day is oftentimes the most difficult holiday to choose the perfect message to convey. This can be especially tough if the relationship is brand new, (like you started dating in February…bold move, by the way), or even if you’re just trying to find a different way to tell you significant other how significant they are. I’m here to make your lives a little bit easier by breaking down the right kind of card to get for every stage of the relationship. So stop panicking in the card aisle, and be the suave man or graceful lady we all know you to be, pick the right card, and walk out of the store confident that you made the right choice!
First just some ground rules.
1. As with most things, do not procrastinate. Waiting until the last minute will only increase the likelihood of picking the wrong card, even if you have all the right intentions.
2. You are not, by any means, to pick out a card you could picture your grandmother sending you. Frankly, the rose petal velvet cards are out of date and will likely make your recipient feel like you waited until the last second—even if you didn’t.
3. If writing a letter is more your style, by all means, do that! Hand-written notes mean a lot and provide a lot more room for creativity. And gushy feelings.
4. Only express feelings that you would be comfortable saying to the recipient directly.
You started dating in February.
As I stated before, bold move, but good for you! This stage may be the most difficult to find, because Valentine’s Day readily assumes that couples are already in love. If this is not the case, do not panic. Hallmark does carry cards for new relationships, but even those can be a little heavy. I suggest that you get a blank card with a cover that you know the recipient will love. If they love dogs, but you aren’t ready to confess your “puppy love,” then a blank card will do just fine. Do not get a card that says anything about love if you aren’t ready to explain it! Doing so will likely confuse/scare/make the recipient unsure of where the relationship stands. On the inside of the card, write about how much fun the other person is, name a memory from your relationship that you’ll always remember, or name something that you’re looking forward to (but not too far in the future). Be honest and try not to get carried away with the Valentine’s Day spirit. This is not a race; if you aren’t ready to express your undying love, don’t worry—the recipient probably isn’t ready either.
You’ve been dating 1-3 months.
At this point, your relationship is in the honeymoon stage, and your first Valentine’s Day together will be perfect. And then you get into the card aisle at your Fred Meyer’s or Safeway and a new fear sets in—do you love your partner? I mean, yes, they are amazing and perfect and everything you could ever want, but is that love? Unfortunately, that question can only be answered by you, but don’t worry, that answer doesn’t have to be perfectly clear in order to buy a card. For this stage in the relationship, I would suggest something cute, like elementary school crush cute. They have cards that have great illustrations on the front and say something to the tune of “I’m so glad I get to be yours this Valentine’s Day. Will you be mine?” There. Simple, to the point, not too over-the-top, but still has a message. And that message is, “I really like you, I like where this relationship is going.” If that sounds like your opinion towards your relationship, I would suggest getting a card that brings back all those giddy feelings of when you and the recipient first started dating. On the inside, you can divulge in your feelings for your significant other, but make sure you tell them too. Don’t write anything in a card that you would have an issue with saying to their face. Or when looking lovingly into their eyes.
You’ve been dating 3-6 months.
Around this time, your relationship is exiting the honeymoon stage, and you might be feeling it. You may have had an argument or five by now, and you are getting used to the other person being around. This is not a bad thing so don’t worry! Instead, use this holiday to remind your significant other what makes them so special to you. This segment of dating is a bit different, because some people will be dropping the “L” word, while others may still be at a standstill, waiting for the other person to say it first (just say it, you never know if you’ll get another chance). If you are one of the couples that have been dropping “I love yous,” no matter the frequency, get a card that says it! It doesn’t have to be over-the-top, just make sure the “L” word is mentioned somewhere in the card. For those 500 Days of Summer fans, the “I love us” card would be perfect. Don’t forget to also express your feelings on the inside of the card. Remember that a message on the outside of a card cannot replace your own personal feelings, which you should explain on the inside of the card. I would recommend writing about how special your significant other is, as well as how happy you are to be in a relationship with them. Bring them back to that honeymoon stage, and their answering kiss will be just like your first. Now, for those who are on an “I love you” impasse, I would recommend a card like the one in the 1-3 months stage, but make the message more personal. Write about the first time you saw them, or how you feel when you see them. Be a little more lovey-dovey, and maybe the impasse will be over in the near future.
You’ve been dating 6-9 months.
Woohoo! You’re nearing a year, which is a big deal for everyone, but especially for college students. For the past nine or so months you’ve made time for each other despite homework, tests, quizzes, finals, breaks, family dinners, etc. This also means that you’re getting really used to each other. Yes, your significant other is just as significant as ever, but some of the newness has rubbed off. That’s why I suggest for this stage to get a funny card. Because most funny Valentine’s Day cards include some suggestive material, this is exactly why I recommend it. Just think how fun it would be to make the recipient open it in a public place and watch them turn bright red! What you write on the inside is completely up to you; just make it light and funny. By this point, you’ve established how much you love each other, so use your card to make them giggle and blush a little bit.
You’ve been dating for 9-12 months.
Ah, love, isn’t it magnificent? It’s funny how one little emotion can keep people together and keep them strong. If you’ve been dating for 9 months to a year, you’ve probably pondered this idea, and hopefully it still makes you smile. For this segment of dating, I suggest a card that reflects that. Be honest with your card. At some point, you’ve probably had a big fight, but you worked through it and it made you stronger. Buy a card that says something like, “You know, sometimes you make me really angry, but I wouldn’t trade a second with you for the world. I’m still a fool for you.” This kind of card will make your recipient smile and I promise a lot of memories will run through their mind that will make them smile even more. A lot can happen in a year, and a greeting card is a great way to reflect this notion. On the inside, you don’t have to say a lot, in fact, less may be more impactful. Say exactly how you feel about them and how you look forward to what the future has in store for you two. Anything that says, “I feel (x) about you, and I am looking forward to (y).” Your recipient knows how you feel about them, but it never hurts to remind them.
You’ve been dating for over a year.
First of all, you’re amazing and we bow down to you. Now go read my suggestions for all of the above segments of time, and take your pick. Yes, that’s right, it is all up to you! Maybe you want a blank card so you can write a whole ton of things about your significant other and all that you have been through together. Or maybe you want to get a funny card to put a little spark back into your relationship to separate it from the day-to-day routine. Whatever you want to get, I promise they will appreciate, after all, who doesn’t appreciate a reminder of love? And on the inside, of course be honest and say something to make them smile.
There you have it, a basic greeting card guide for this Valentine’s Day 2013. Just follow your heart (you too, men!) and your card will make your significant other smile and you will both celebrate this Valentine’s day as the besst one yet!
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