The other night my friends and I were sitting around, shooting the shit, when the topic of sex appeal arose. I learned two things: 1) all my friends seems to have similar notions of who does and does not have sex appeal, and 2) apparently, I am not in on this knowledge. Everyone could agree on who had sex appeal, except for me. Angelina Jolie? Absolutely. Jack Black? Absolutely not. Anne Hathway? Hell no. Edward Cullen? Hell yeah. I could not identify any of these. So, I was curious to figure out what I this so-called sex appeal was. Cue the beginning of this quest.
I began my journey by looking it up in the dictionary – the good old fashioned way. According to dictionary.com, it is “the ability to excite people sexually and/or immediate appeal or obvious potential to interest or excite others, as by appearance, style, or charm.” That’s pretty straightforward, right? Then why does everyone seem to get it but me? This definition was helpful, but not enough to help me fully understand the meaning of this mysterious sex appeal. So, I turned to the one thing that rarely ever fails me: Wikipedia.
Let me tell you, I was disappointed. What I thought would be a hugely informative article was a lame and vague one. Sex appeal or “sexual attractiveness” (which I thought wasn’t the same thing!) was defined as “an individual’s ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person.” Included in the article was a very helpful explanation of how basically everything can be attributed to sex appeal. Wikipedia failed.
Since the internet had betrayed me, I decided to conduct a casual poll asking my friends what the flip is sexual appeal. I got a lot of different answers, but a lot of similar ones, as well. The way someone carries themselves and overall confidence were popular responses, they have to have ‘swagger’. Most people agreed that being physically attractive is not the most important factor, there is something beyond that. A friend of mine explained it is the perfect balance between arrogance and innocence. People with sex appeal know they have sex appeal, but it is not shoved in your face. Although that one made the most sense to me, I was still lost on why everyone around me seemed to agree on who had sex appeal, but me.
One of the most appealing explanations was that you see characteristics in someone that match your preferences in the bedroom. For example, someone that appears domineering might have sex appeal to someone who finds that preferable in bed. This was all helping me understand more, but it still seemed all a little fishy that so many of my friends could agree on who has it and who doesn’t. However, I was beginning to realize my concept of sex appeal was different because I wanted a scientific explanation on how to identify it. Sex appeal is mysterious, which adds to its overall intrigue. It is desirable because not everyone has it in everyone’s eyes and there is no specific reason someone has it, it’s just a culmination of a lot of random things.
After talking to different people and searching the depths of the internet for the meaning of sex appeal, I learned two things: 1) People with sex appeal walk sexy, have great pouts, and can glitter in the sun, and 2) I’m pretty sure I have sex appeal.