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Hooking up in college can be a wondrous thing, but also a complete disaster. It can be fun, sexy, and satisfying or awkward, uncomfortable, and leave you hanging. Casual hookups should be something fun and carefree, whether it is with a cute stranger, a crush, or a friend, or whether it’s the first or fifth time. With the help of some fellow Her Campus staffers and friends, we present to you a list of tips on how to make your hook up experience in college the most enjoyable.
Disclaimer: Although this article is targeted towards women, we hope that everyone can learn from and enjoy these tips. It was written by women who have primarily had heterosexual experiences, but we hope that these tips are applicable and relatable to anyone and everyone.
Pre Hook-up
Don’t use a cheesy pick-up line. Some stellar examples include, “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” or “if I told you I wanted your body now would you hold it against me?” or “is that a keg in your pants, because I’d love to tap that ass.” Save the cheese for your Coop quesadillas.
Do be your confident, naturally sexy self. When you’re having a great time with your friends laughing and dancing you appear more approachable and fun-loving. If you spy your crush looking your way, flash him/her a quick smile to signal some initial interest.
Don’t use alcohol as liquid confidence. Public displays of outlandish affection and/or hook-up attempts while intoxicated could lead to feelings of embarrassment when attending Frary brunch the next day.
Do be flirty and show interest when you’re at a party, but without being overly aggressive.
Don’t go out with expectations to hook up with a specific person. This is not a hunt. Sometimes this can lead to disappointment.
Do be clear with your expectations for yourself. Know what you want from a hook-up and be open to finding chemistry with someone you haven’t made your target. If you hit it off with some hottie on the dance floor let the magic happen. It’s probably wise to keep in mind that a drunken night of hooking up with a rando from the Harvey Mudd party won’t lead to any sort of romance. If you’re on a relationship quest this may not be the best method. But if booty call is the name of your game, go forth and multiply (your orgasms).
During a Hook-up
Don’t succumb to pressure from yourself, the object of your desire or anyone else to move at a faster pace than what makes you comfortable.
Do say no. You don’t have to justify your reason or feel guilty, just do what you feel comfortable with. It’s okay if you just have a hot and heavy make-out session, no one is judging. Or if you want to get down to business, that’s cool too.
Don’t take your partner in lust or yourself too seriously. Chances are, your hook-up won’t be perfectly scripted or edited like Leo and Kate’s amorous adventures in Titanic.
Do have fun. Hook-ups are bound to have slip-ups or awkward moments, so lighten up the situation and have a little laugh. Hook-ups should be footloose and fancy-free!! If there’s less pressure, you’ll be focused on enjoying yourself rather than performing perfectly.
Don’t engage in barebacked sex because you think you’re covered with birth control pills and the tequila makes it seem like a great idea. It may seem obvious that foregoing a condom is risky behavior, but unprotected sex still happens quite frequently. We all know the horrid statistic that 1 in 4 college students has an STD. But for whatever reason there is a tendency to falsely assume that since we’re in Claremont we’re safe. Unfortunately, according to a recent guest speaker in a Pomona Human Sexuality class, chlamydia is not that uncommon here on the 5Cs.
Do use a condom! Even if your bed partner says he/she has been tested and you’re on the pill, it’s better to bang on the side of caution. If you are one of those condom-haters, learn to love them by sampling some of the ultra-thin kinds, such as Beyond Seven, or those geared towards female arousal, like Trojan Her Pleasure!
Post Hook-up
Don’t overstay your welcome in the morning. No matter how tired or hung-over you are, an imposed cuddle session till 1 pm might be suffocating for whoever’s bed you’re inhabiting.
Do be considerate about the other person’s work or sleep schedule. Try to gauge when it’s time to make your exit, whether it be the night of or the morning after. When in doubt, you can always ask. The right time to leave a hook-up is highly dependent on context, so just stay aware.
Don’t awkwardly avoid your hook-up in the dining hall, on the quad or in the library. Obviously ignoring someone is not playing hard to get; it can be confusing and slightly rude. When you suddenly have a million urgent text messages to respond to while passing on 6th street or when you abruptly switch directions to avoid the burrito line in Frary, they know that there’s some awkward avoidance going down.
Do acknowledge the person. Depending on the situation, the friendly spectrum can go from a brief chat to a quick hello to a head nod or a small wave. Maintaining a light and amicable relationship keeps things from getting unbearably awkward on our tiny campus. And more importantly, those smiles and hellos keep the hook-up express lane open for business should you want a repeat encounter.
Don’t over-text. As tempting as it may be, assailing him/her with multiple text messages can overwhelm and/or scare off your campus cutie.
Do make sure you give the person and yourself some time or space. Both of you should figure out how you feel about the magical evening and what you want from it without a barrage of texting. Once you feel as if a repeat meeting is in order and enough time has passed so that you’re not being desperate, take a risk and send out a booty text. We’re all in favor of sporadic and flirtatious texts and sexts if both parties have shown interest in repeating a night of pleasure.
We hope that these tips can help you get it on in the best way possible with the best person possible. Remember these are just tips, and some of them can apply differently to different girls since we all have our own style and preference when it comes to hooking up. Most importantly, hooking up is about having fun. That’s the reason you should do it and the way you should go about it. Enjoy!