Happy Bisexual Visibility Day! Every year since 1999, Bisexual Visibility Day has been held on September 23. Some people may say that this isn’t necessary, that bisexuals are already an accepted part of the LGBTQ+ community, but that isn’t quite the case. “Bi erasure” is a term that you may have seen floating around on twitter or other social media platforms. This term is used to express that bisexual people feel that we are erased or invalidated by not only straight people, but also by people that only like members of the same gender, or one gender. There is a constant pressure on bisexuals to “pick one”, and a lot of people on both ends don’t seem to think we are a valid part of the community. So, to all the bisexual babes reading this: Hey. I see you. You are so valid and incredibly important and just as in need of representation and protection as everyone else in the LGBTQ+ community. Also, live up your day of visibility before you turn invisible for the other 364 days of the year…I kid, I kid.
1. Pick a team
Okay, this one just doesn’t make any sense. Is this a sporting event? Am I playing for a score? Almost nothing in this world is as black or white as picking one side or another, and I feel like bisexual people have to hear this more than anyone else. Do they get this defensive when they hear someone say they like dogs and cats? God forbid someone like more than one flavor of ice cream at the same time!
2. So does this mean you date both of them at once?
If someone likes to drink both orange juice and coffee in the morning, do they try to pour both of them down their throat at the same time? No? Then this logic makes no sense. Believe it or not, bisexual people can still be in a monogamous relationship with one partner, just like your average heterosexual. Shocker, I know, but we can get through this mind-blowing discovery together.
3. Bisexual people are more likely to cheat on their partners
This one is possibly one of the most offensive stereotypes that bisexual people have to put up with. Bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender. That means that they have the possibility to think more than one person is attractive at the same time. However, the same is true for those that are only attracted to one gender. I just recently met someone that is well over 60 years old, has a wife, and identifies as bisexual even though she has made a vow of commitment to one person. Our sexual identity does not correlate to our promiscuity in any way, and if they think it does, they’re wrong.
4. So are you straight now since you’re with (person of opposite gender)?
This also applies to asking someone if they’re strictly gay because they are dating someone of the same gender. The answer is no. Hard no. Dating someone of the same/opposite gender does not change my identity. It isn’t like a switch that I can flip every time I begin a new relationship. My identity is my identity, it doesn’t change like a mood ring every time I see a pretty girl or an attractive nonbinary babe. Also, doesn’t that sound like so much work? Bisexual culture is being too lazy to even bother to correct people when they assume these things anymore. Why do they think we would put in the effort to “change” our entire identity at the drop of a hat? I am a very tired bisexual and I don’t have the time for that, alright? The gay agenda already takes up most of my time and energy.
5. You’re not gay, so stop saying you are
Yikes. This one is actually a sensitive topic in the LGBTQ+ community. There is a lot of dispute around people that are attracted to more than one gender using the term “gay” to describe themselves, because some people think that the term should be exclusively used by people that only are attracted to the opposite gender. However, the term “gay” is already being used as an umbrella term to include bisexual people. Some examples are the terms “gay marriage” and “gay rights”. Until a better, more inclusive word is used to describe the LGBTQ+ community, I will continue to mutter “I am so gay” whenever I run into that cute girl in the elevator on the way to class.
6. You like girls? That’s hot, can I watch?
This. One. THIS ONE. This one is the worst by far. Being a woman that is attracted to other women is fetishized so much in modern society. Making someone’s relationship, whether they are a lesbian couple, bisexual couple, or another variant of a wlw relationship, into your own personal kink is disgusting and wrong. I love women because I think they are beautiful, they smell nice, they are kind…the list goes on. That list does not include “because that one guy on the internet thinks that it’s hot when I kiss a girl.” Not only is this kind of rhetoric disgusting, and bad in every single way, but it also has the potential of increasing violence against women that are attracted to women. This is because if a woman is rejecting someone’s romantic advances and explains with “I’m sorry, but I like girls.” That person can then respond with “Oh that’s okay, I’m into that,” and continue to harass the person. Just…just don’t do this.
7. You’re just greedy/desperate for attention
Now listen, I’m not gonna judge, but…eating both chocolate and vanilla ice cream? Seriously? A little desperate, aren’t we? A little greedy? No one ever says that to anyone, because that sounds ridiculous. That’s because it is. When I was in middle school, I had a really big crush on my close friend. We hung out all the time, and when we were together we were always holding hands, sitting close to each other, or something like that. I felt like I liked her, but I knew that I also liked boys. I was very confused, because this was pre-any kind of social media, so I had no idea that bisexuality even existed. I tried talking to my parents about the feelings that I had, and they said, “You’re probably just desperate to be with someone. You’re just really close friends with her, and want to be closer to her.” I accepted this as truth at the time, but I left that conversation feeling very confused, because I knew that these feelings were much stronger than friendship. Now I know what the case was, but I still sometimes feel the internalized fear that I only feel the way I do because I’m desperate for a connection. That’s why saying things like this is not only annoying and exhausting, but can also permanently stick into someone’s brain, whether you mean it to or not.
What you should take away from this article, if you are not bisexual, is that these things are the reason that bisexual visibility day exists. There are so many stereotypes surrounding bisexuality and ways that people try to make us seem like we do not exist. Well, plot twist: we do. We are here, and we are not going away anytime soon. You can help be a supportive ally or member of the LGBTQ+ community by avoiding saying the things on this list. Oh, and to all the bisexual people reading this article: Go you. I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far already, and you have so much more life ahead of you. Happy bisexual visibility day.