Your Drunk Personalities Summated

Wearing Sunglasses Inside Cool Guy Drunk

This person somehow reveals an alternate personality when under the influence. They lose inhibitions and become the soul of the party.

Gif by unknown via Giphy

I Could be the Next Mark Cuban Drunk

Similar to millionaire Mark Cuban—who attended Pitt—this drunk is overly-confident and splurges. They may spot their friends on Green Tea shots or buy rounds that go down like water.

Gif by unknown via 123 Sports News

I Could be the Next Jonas Salk Drunk

This drunk benefits from lowered inhibitions, showing off their smart side. They do not undergo drastic characteristic changes. Hint: take them to trivia if you want to win.

Gif by unknown via Giphy

Am I Really Sitting by Myself in the Club rn? Drunk

The lonely drunk sits by themselves and most likely prefers to drink in solitude, even if they are alone at the bar. Being sober is just too stressful today.

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Pitt Pathfinder Drunk

The friendliest of the drunks! Always in a good mood and blurts out random Pitt facts once they have had a few drinks. Hint: have fun and take these happy souls dancing.

Lucile Bluth Drunk

Professionally and perpetually drunk. Is there a difference between alcoholics, characters in Mad Men, and social frat Brads and Chads? I think not.

Gif by What Gif Today via Tumblr

Everyone is my Friend at Sorrento's Drunk

Almost a Kindergartener in the way they make friends: sloppily. They make za friends, use lots of hand gestures, are overly touchy, are sweet and nice, do not understand personal space, and want to talk to anyone about anything. Hint: you might need to delete their number which you both drunkenly added.

Gia via unknown via Giphy

Cathy Drunk

Ah, the glorious Cathy. She stands tall, liked by all. Pretty and not afraid to show some love.

Gif by unknown via Make A Gif

Starting Fights at Bootleggers Drunk

This drunk may be on the verge of violence. What better place than Bootleggers: the bar with a name that only attracts pirates or people with gum diseases. Throw hands, brojoni.

Gif by unknown via Giphy

Hillman Ground Floor Drunk

Always a gamble. Manically encases almost every drunk detailed above—all in one night. Hint: they will pull all-nighters.

Gif by unknown via Giphy

Corpse Drunk

Does this one really need an explanation? Your current state of utter weariness until the Gatorade and Vicodin cure your nasty hangover.

Gif by unknown via Giphy