As an incoming junior, this quote seems to resonate with me more than ever. While the days of freshmen year were filled with good friends and memories, I say with ease that college only continues to get better with time. That being said, here is a list of things that I wish I knew before I started my freshman year.
Before college
1. High school was not the best years of your life.
Some people love their memories from high school. Some people hate their memories from high school. And some people think they love their memories from high school and then realize that they actually weren’t that great after they graduate.
I am in that last category. Granted, I had many friends and made a lot of fun memories during my stint as a high school student. Though, if you haven’t realized it within these past few weeks already, your new life in college will be exponentially more entertaining. The relationships that you make in college go beyond a level that you could ever understand before, and the experiences you have will go way beyond those happy memories in hoodies by bonfires.
My advice to incoming freshmen is to stop holding on to their memories in high school. I made the mistake of doing that my freshmen year, and as a result, it took me longer to find the friends that I have now. I’m not saying you should completely cut off your friends from home, however, my experiences have shown me that when you stop living in the past, the future becomes much brighter.
2. You don’t have to go out with your friends every night.
I remember watching movies as a teenager and believing that college would be exactly like what I saw on the screen. Constant debauchery and lawlessness was to be expected, and those who weren’t partaking were “losers.”
I’ve seen so many freshmen fall under this trap but, no one pays attention to how much or how little you go out. I began to pity the friends I had that felt they needed to consistently drink four out of seven days of the week. Their lives seemed messy and unorganized and few people respected them for that.
Obviously, there are some occasions that consistent fun is necessary (e.g. Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day weekend). However, don’t feel pressured to be living up to this “college experience” that you see marketed to you all of the time. Have fun the ways that are actually fun to you. If you want to stay in on a Friday night and watch an entire marathon of “New Girl”, that is perfectly fine! No one is going to think any less of you, and will probably end up respecting you for your discipline in the long run. Everyone in college, should hopefully, be trying to graduate with good grades. So don’t push yourself to be “fun” all the time, you’re only hurting yourself.
3. Try to be an amazing roommate.
Roommate and housing problems are the bane of everyone’s existence in college. If you can avoid them, then you’ve got it made.
One of the main issues that people have with roommates is a lack of respect and an inability to be up front with personal problems. Even if your roommate says she’s okay with something, it could be just his/her effort to keep the peace. If you’re on the peaceful side, don’t be. Be up front with your roommate’s uncleanliness or late night indiscretions as soon as they begin to bother you. Otherwise, you’ll be in for a difficult semester.
All it takes to be a good roommate is to be respectful of each other’s property, time and environment. Don’t assume that it’s okay for you to share food, clothes or products. While sharing is okay for some, it’s a huge no-no for others.
4. If you’re truly an individual, don’t try to be like everyone else: Like-minded friends will follow.
Freshmen year is scary because you don’t know where you place is yet. It’s terrifying going from an environment where everyone knows who you are and what your identity is, to a place where you don’t really know any one. Before you make any long term commitments, I urge you to think about the long-term effects. The organizations and clubs that you join your freshmen year can oftentimes dictate the people you hang out with for the rest of your college career. This can be a good or a bad thing.
Deciding what a positive college experience is, is completely up to you. However, the advice I would give is to not let your fear of loneliness or alienation drive you to commit to something that contradicts your personal ideals. Just because your friends from high school are constantly posting pictures of themselves having a great time in their own colleges, doesn’t mean that they actually are or that you are behind because you haven’t actually found that yet. Run your own race, and make good decisions with your friends and your interests.
I joined Pitt Pathfinders the second semester of my freshmen year. As a result, a majority of my friends and social life revolve around the organization. For me, this was a positive experience because it put me into a network of extremely motivated and functional individuals. However, I also have many friends outside of the organization. College is just about finding a good balance.
Present
5. Try to learn as much as you can. Perfect grades can only get you so far.
In grade school we are taught that the answers to most questions are black and white and there’s a specific way to getting there. College is supposed to teach you that this is wrong. I know so many college students that have a meltdown if they receive an A- in a class instead of an A. The unfortunate reality is that many employers don’t really even pay attention to college GPA’s.
Obviously, there are some careers where grades are dependent on everything. If you are trying to get into any type of grad school, GPA is obviously important. However, if you are like me, a marketing major, you’ll realize that employers want to see your skills not your ability to properly fill in scantron sheets.
If you are in a major like mine, don’t focus so much on the GPA. Focus more on honing in your craft and becoming a marketable and well-rounded individual. Many employers place communication skills above all else, so try to read and network as much as you can. Being able to have a good conversation can in all honesty, get you a job.
One note to make is that you SHOULD care about your GPA. Don’t think that getting anything below a 3.0 is deemed acceptable. While, employers will hire people with low GPA’s, by no means is it something to strive for. The point is to not become neurotic about the number. However, low GPA’s do show a lack of work ethic or inability to handle tasks.
6. Don’t be shallow.
When I began freshmen year, I was very shallow. This is incredibly embarrassing but the girls on my freshmen dorm floor called me and my group of friends “The Plastics” (mean girls reference). By no means was I mean to anyone my freshman year, but I definitely didn’t make an effort to have extended conversation with them until the middle of that semester (after all of my “Plastic” friends had proven to not be such great friends).
The point is to not write people or be a snob now… or ever. You have no right to deem someone as “not cool enough.” Those people that you see as “uncool” are busy making authentic friendships while you sit back and judge. Before my freshmen year, I was used to having friends that would constantly break my trust and gossip about me behind my back.
Since that first semester of freshmen year, I can say that I’ve never had to deal with that sort of disrespect. As a result, I’m much happier and truly understand what it’s like to have friends that are like family. The friends that I have now support every activity that I do, and every idea that I have. I pity those who don’t understand what that’s like.
So if you find yourself with a group of people who have little concern for your feelings or constantly disrespect you, know that things don’t have to be that way. I met one of my best friends when I accidentally walked in on her in a bathroom in our freshmen dorm. And since then we’ve had a relationship based on trust, honesty and I could truly rely on her for anything. Not once, have I ever feared that she would do anything to hurt me and she has always supported me through all of my new goals.
7. Be Kind
This may sound elementary, but it’s an important thing to say. As females, we sometimes feel the need to be mean to our fellow women out of insecurity. Don’t do that.
People always respect a kind individual. And when you start acting kind, you begin to believe you’re a good person and authentic happiness follows. Being mean only makes you angry and unhappy.
I used to be one of those people, so I can say this out of experience. As soon as I truly started trying to give every person I met an effort, I started to really believe that I had good energy coming into my life. You don’t have to prove yourself to everyone, and being nice doesn’t make you weak or a pushover.
8. Friendships are essential, relationships are a bonus.
There are many ways to say it, but it’s another thing to really follow it. In college, friends should be put above all else. The reality is that college is maybe one of the only times you’ll be able to make lifelong friends. Once you reach the workforce, it’s much harder to find people who can connect to you the way that your college friends can. However, you’ll continue to meet potential new relationships for the rest of your life.
I’m not saying that being in a relationship is wrong. There are many people who meet the loves of their lives while they’re in school. However, if you’re going to get married you’re also going to need some bridesmaids and groomsmen to share your day with. Therefore, make sure you cultivate and maintain good friendships in school. Relationships can wait.
Also, I know too many girls that feel the need to have a boyfriend, either out of insecurity or loneliness. 1. That’s dumb. And 2. You’re not going to meet someone who’s right for you if you give your relationship status up to the first guy who is nice to you. Be stronger than that. You deserve to have someone who wants to understand you on a deeper level. Just because your friends might be talking to someone, and you feel left out, doesn’t mean you need to find a boyfriend. Get a hobby. At least you’ll have a skill by the end of it.
^NOTE: As a sidenote, always be yourself. Don’t ever tone your personality down or act a certain way because of a guy or any sort of person. People truly respect unique individuals, and you’re only harming yourself by dimming it. If someone can’t handle that you like to talk really loudly, or are very vocal about your love of Battleship Gallactica, they can GTFO. There will always be someone out there that is mature enough to not care about what your quirks are.
9.Take risks and stand up for yourself.
Just because you’re young, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid or that your opinion isn’t valid. Speak up in class, in conversations and in general. Once again, you’re only harming yourself by not speaking up about something. Even if you get something wrong, college isn’t an environment for judgment. It’s here as a safety net for you before you enter the real world. So take risks.
The coolest and most successful people are ones that took educated risks and truly believed in what they were passionate about. If you want to be the next Steve Jobs or Oprah Winfrey, you absolutely have to have faith in yourself and take risks.
10. No matter what other people say, figuring out what you want in life is your main priority. And the earlier you figure it out, the more successful you will be.
I know that before I entered college, so many people told me that I had so much time to figure out what I wanted out of life. This is true, but it also doesn’t get easier the longer you wait.
As I mentioned before, the people who are truly successful in life are the people who live and breathe their craft. Steve Jobs for example, began working with computers and technology as a child. It takes 10,000 hours for someone to truly be an expert in something, so if you have a dream in mind, you need to spend that much time working towards it.
That being said, if you really don’t know what you want yet, spend as much time as possible to figure it out. I entered the University of Pittsburgh as an education major, but switched to Business to pursue a career in TV production my sophomore year. Before college, I kind of floundered around when thinking about my future. It wasn’t until I really thought about the lifestyle that I wanted and the dreams I wanted to pursue, that I switched to this career path.
As the daughter of a physician and an accountant, this wasn’t an easy decision for me. However, as soon as I made it, I began to do everything that I could to put myself in the best position out of college.