My freshman year of college I dated someone who I thought I had a future with. However, very quickly I realized that I didn’t. There’s excitement in the unknown, but that can go away once you entire a relationship seems to have an expiration date. Are you interested in someone and contemplating dating them even though it might end? This article discusses the reasons why it’s not a good idea to enter a relationship with an expiration date using my experiences as examples.
There Isn’t Anything to Look Forward To.
In a normal relationship, there are phases that are always exciting and terrifying to reach at the same time. There’s when you meet the best friends, then the parents, your first holiday together, etc. All of those milestones that you would normally progress towards in a normal relationship, you don’t get to (usually) experience in one with no future. Because what would be the point?
The Future is All You Think About
Relationships with a specific end date happen to be ones over the summer, or senior year of college. Instead of focusing on the present with that person, your mind will always be on how little time you have left with them. It makes it really hard to live in the moment.
Chances Are, Expectations Won’t Be Met
I thought entering college, that I would be ok with having a fling. I wanted to be a girl who could have a short relationship or fling and not look back once it was over. However, my expectations and what I wanted evolved throughout the course of my freshmen year. I wanted more out of our relationship, out of him. It caused arguments to happen more often, and for my happiness to dwindle.
You Won’t Experience What It Means to Be “All In”
I personally feel that if you know the relationship won’t last a long time, then you won’t give it your all. I am someone that goes into a new relationship guarded until it seems like the relationship will last. I mean, why would you give someone your everything if your relationship will end in a few months anyway? You deserve to have a relationship where little moments are cherished and you get to fall slowly and deeply in love with them as time goes on. Not one where your heart is always somewhat guarded.
I wrote this article from my past experience and from what I wish someone had told me. However, if you are someone who feels they can handle being in a fling or short-term relationship, then I say go for it. It isn’t for everyone, like I know it wasn’t for me. Just don’t ever try to compromise who you are for someone who you like (i.e. claiming you’re into a fling when you really want more). Finally, always do what makes you happy.
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