It’s 7:45 AM and I’m grudgingly walking towards work. The wind is whipping across my face and the strap on my favorite pair of boots rips off. While this series of unfortunate events is occurring around me, I also had the pleasure of hearing two girls talk about their boy problems behind me. The conversation went something like this:
Girl 1: I’m sick of Jesse.
Girl 2: No. You guys are perfect for each other.
Girl 1: I like him but he’s just too nice.
Girl 2: Too nice? What’s too nice?
Girl 1: I don’t know I just feel bored. It’s just too easy and it’s always the same.
As I tried to ignore this mindless and insignificant problem, I couldn’t help thinking at work (in order to pass the time) that I have heard this same common problem among girls. In other words, He’s Just Not That Into You had it right. (Beware Spoiler Alert, although shame on you if you’ve never seen the movie or read the book) In the movie version, Alex tells Gigi that girls love excitement and drama. Although the examples he gives are off for me, the fundamental principle is most girls love the rush.
Why is the guy who’s a jerk the most appealing? Could it be that we have this natural instinct to want to change their personality? Or could it be that we feel accomplished and our self-worth increases once that “bad boy” acts differently towards you than to other people, more specifically other girls? I did some digging around to get to the bottom of this universal crisis. Chloe K., a senior at Pitt, provided her point of view, “Honestly, I wish I was attracted to the nice guy. It would make my life a million times easier. But as it is, I’m one of the majority who is attracted to the unreliable, mysterious, and cryptic ones. For me, I get satisfaction and feel better about myself when I feel one of the no-no guys sees something worthwhile enough to change themselves.” Jasmine M, another senior at Pitt, chimes in, “I find the mysteriousness more exciting. The nice guy is nice to everybody, what is so special about that?”
Now what do guys make of this phenomenon? First runner up is Luke, suave senior here at Pitt. He first acknowledges women’s love of drama. Apparently it’s a secret we haven’t kept well hidden. He also adds “I think it has a lot to do with us being inherently attracted to our opposites. Every compatible couple, that I know who have made it work, have complete personalities. It seems to be a recipe for success; I mean nobody wants to date themselves. That’s boring.”
I ask myself, why do girls continue to fall for guys who constantly lead them on and play mind games? It might be that we actually want to convert that bad guy in some twisted attempt to boost our self-worth. However, me personally, I think we want what we can’t have. We want to make ourselves desirable, irresistible, and win our delicious prize (as shallow as that may be). I like the mystery and the flirtations that lead us into a whirlwind of endless thrills and fun. We blame the guys who like the game and yet reject the ones who put us up on a pedestal even when we don’t deserve it. There is nothing wrong with a nice guy. In fact, I encourage it. Who doesn’t want someone to stand by your side through thick and thin, never making you doubt them? Nice guys make you feel confident and beautiful. In the end, is there really anything sexier than that?
I guess it’s just a matter of preference. Do you like the drama or the sweetness? The two types don’t make sense, but then again does anything in life really?
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