I’ve been single for quite some time—so long I’d rather not give an exact figure. Like many college students, I eventually caught the Netflix bug. Seemingly every single college student I know jokes about being in a committed relationship with their Netflix account. For me, my relationship with Netflix started in the fall of my sophomore year. In a six week period, I binged six seasons of Burn Notice totaling 99 episodes. If you ask my roommate at the time, I’m pretty sure I didn’t talk to him on most week days during that November. I know I’m not the only one who has completely replaced my love life with my Netflix account. So here are the five reasons why Netflix is better than a relationship.
No pants required. Ever: Like a lot of my colleagues in Her Campus Pitt, I am very opposed to wearing pants. They’re incredibly oppressive and restrictive. Worst of all, wearing pants means you’ll actually have to go outside… and deal with people… The horror! Also, in my experience as a guy, it’s generally frowned upon to show up on a first date without pants. Granted, ladies have skirts and dresses, but they are still just as awful as pants for the reasons I’ve already mentioned. The wonderful part about Netflix is I never have to worry about pants! I could sit in my boxers for hours on end watching countless episodes of my favorite shows with no fear of judgment or screams of terror – except from my roommate, but that’s a different story. Why would I want to put on real clothes and go out on a date when Netflix has never required me to wear pants? Is this decision really that difficult?
Netflix always does what you want to do: One thing about being in a relationship is learning how to compromise with your SO. She may not like horror movies. He may not be a fan of Chinese food. Whatever the issue might be, people in healthy relationships learn to compromise and that’s a great thing. All that being said, one of the wonderful things about Netflix is that you never have to compromise. It’s one of the few times when you can be completely selfish and it’s okay. You want to watch a horror movie? So does Netflix! You want have an eight hour Grey’s Anatomy binge? Netflix loves that idea! You want to watch a documentary about some incredibly obscure, nerdy subject no one else cares about? You better believe Netflix cares! With Netflix, there are no limits to what you can do.
Netflix exclusives: All you House of Cards fans know what I’m talking about. Aside from the great collection of movies and TV shows available to watch, Netflix also has their own exclusive content you can only find on their site –and it’s really good content too. As I mentioned, House of Cards is an amazing example of the good content you can find. Kevin Spacey is absolutely spectacular and the show has developed an incredibly large, dedicated fan base. In addition to that, Netflix also has their own exclusive comedy specials similar to the ones on HBO. Recently, I’ve seen specials by two of my favorite comics: Bill Burr and Ralphie May. So think of it this way, which is better: House of Cards or that cutie at the bar? Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
Everyone else likes Netflix: Netflix users are virtually everywhere on college campuses. So should you decide to leave the soft glow of your laptop and venture out into the world, there are other people out there just as obsessed with Netflix as you are. You can’t say the same thing about a boyfriend or girlfriend. Honestly, if you told me a story about what you and your SO did this past weekend, I would listen politely, but I wouldn’t really care. Now if you told me one of my favorite movies or TV shows was just added to Netflix streaming service, that will get my attention. I can’t tell you how many people I knew were jumping for joy when they found out Friends was coming to Netflix. We were ecstatic. Also your friends will never say, “Ew, you’re dating Netflix?! Gross!” Think about it. Netflix is a keeper.
Netflix is attentive: This one is probably my personal favorite. Like you, I get into epic Netflix binges that can last for weeks at a time. My last great binge lasted about a month and I got through all three seasons of Blue Mountain State. (Side note: it’s a hilarious show for college students and sports fans.) What was amazing about the BMS binge was that I could watch as many episodes I wanted any time I wanted. I didn’t have to worry that Netflix was going to be busy. Netflix never had an exam to study for. If I wanted to have a date night with Netflix at 11:30 pm on a school night, I could do that! It was wonderful! You can’t have that with another person. They have actual lives to live and responsibilities. But Netflix is always there. Netflix will let you ignore your friends and your responsibilities as much as you want. All Netflix wants is to bring you more and more content until your eyeballs fall out of your head. If that isn’t true love, then I don’t know what is.
Well there you have it. Those are the five reasons Netflix is better than a relationship. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to watching the epic bromance of Chandler and Joey on Friends.