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My Flat Chested Woes

     One day, I am talking to a guy friend (who shall remain nameless) when a girl with “Double D’s” popping out of her low cut V-neck shirt, walks by. As I am talking to my friend, I notice that his eyes do a double glance , hypnotized by these boobs ( a total amateur move, use your peripherals as to not get caught). After a second, he comes back to reality and sees me smiling at this so obvious encounter, and then proceeds to say, “What?”
As a member of the flat chest community for more than nine years now (I got my annual pin the other day), it is so disappointing to be outdone by a girl with naturally big boobs. (Fake ones don’t count in my mind for my own sanity's sake). It is a shame that our society is so obsessed with such a narrow scope of what we deem to be ‘attractive.’ I will admit that I’m no exception. So, every day I stare down a few inches, hoping today will be the day my boobs will grow, but alas! nothing.

There is nothing more disappointing than going to Victoria’s Secret to get your bra size and being told that your boobs are basically the same size as they were in the fifth grade. FIFTH! So, you can forget about buying the cute bras Victoria’s Secret only seems to reserve for the more voluptuous and sexually appealing “B” and “C” cups.  You can also forget about buying that cute dress you had your eye on for a while because it only works when there is something to fill it out.  From here on out, it’s push up and extra padded bras.

            I have tried almost all the remedies out there, to magically grow boobs. (Don’t judge, I am sure at least one of you out there have to!) Natural remedies, massages, creams, pills, séances (just kidding, but I’m not ruling it out yet). It feels like my last option is to get implants. However, with no money, and with endless fears like my implants will pop and leak while in a steamy encounter with my favorite actor with the hottest jaw- bone structure (a girl can dream), implants don’t feel like the right choice for me.

            As much as I hate having the chest area of a ten-year-old boy, I began to think that maybe, just maybe, small boobs could also be seen as a blessing in disguise, instead of the curse they are deemed to be by images on magazines and billboards.  I mean I could go braless if I wanted to (let’s just hope it’s not too cold outside) and I guarantee no one would even notice! Mina Azodi, a writer from Cosmopolitan, says that “More women are embracing their small boobs, instead of hiding them under padded bras.” Small boobs can make women feel younger, healthier, and apparently they have the hidden ability to feel more pleasure! We deserve that one! For more information on how to start loving your small boobs visit http://www.cosmopolitan.com/advice/health/why-small-breasts-are-good-for-you.

            Now to all the women with naturally big nunga nungas (shout out to fictional British character Georgia Nicholson), I have not forgotten about your issues either. As much as I believe you secretly love your boobs, I know big boobs comes with just as many advantages and disadvantages as small boobs. All my girlfriends who have been blessed with “lovely lady lumps” as Fergie puts it so elegantly, complain about their boobs being so large. “Omg, they are so big!” Thanks for rubbing it in.. Or “I can’t find anything that fits.” Or how about, “Guys think that I am an easy lay.” While I sadly find it hard to relate to the problems that visible breasts cause, I can definitely understand getting annoyed with what you have… and sometimes wanting what you don’t have.
My point here is that all women with every breast size have had a love/hate relationship with their own boobs since puberty hit and we threw out our Little Mermaid Training bras. We all experience soreness and have trouble finding the perfect fit.  So, all women of different sizes unite and support each other!... No pun intended.
Let one another know that what matters more is not the number/letter combination that labels are bras, but instead the way in which we carry, dress, respect, and love ourselves. Once you have the confidence, positive attitude, and generosity, certain je ne se quoi will follow and no one will be able to take that shine away from you. Confidence and positive energy will always draw eyes, even if your minuscule boobs might not.  :) Welcome to the club.

Samantha Saenz is a senior at Pitt. She is a Communication Science and Disorders major with a theatre minor. Sam loves movies and great TV shows and will probably write about it at least 90% of the time. She is in Pitt Ballet Club and has enjoyed her time with the girls from HerCampus Pitt.
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