I'm In College And Am A Virgin By Choice

College is a time of exploration. It is a time of figuring out what you want and don’t want. It’s a time of forming your own opinions and becoming the person you will be in the real world. It’s also a time where it seems like you should be at certain milestones, because everyone is, right?

Wrong. We all have preconceived conceptions about college before we enter. I thought it was about taking naps and grabbing coffee with friends during breaks during the day, drinking at house parties, and sex. People openly give out condoms in front of our student union! People discuss their sex lives so freely here, opposite to the hush-hush of it in high school. It could have been easy for me to cave under the self-imposed pressure I put on myself to be a normal college kid. So why didn’t I do that? Why am I, at 21 years old, still a virgin?

I don’t look down on my friends and classmates who engage in sex. I want to make that known right now. I am by no means judging anyone who chooses when they are ready to have sex. I believe it is a personal choice and how you choose to view the act is up to you, and frankly, no one else.

This sounds lame, but when I was 13, I was obsessed with the Jonas Brothers. I listened to all their albums, went to their concerts, and watched their TV show even though it had horrible reviews. They had purity rings and I wanted one, too, after researching the meaning of them. I lost it (ha!) when playing soccer three years later, but by then I had become a devout Christian and understood what my virginity meant to me in terms of my faith.

Lately, it’s about owning up to the type of person I am and how sex plays into that. My virginity is mine, and my body is mine, and for so long I was ashamed of how I looked and who I was. I am not secretive about being a virgin. It’s one of the first things I mention to a guy I’m interested in so he doesn’t get any ideas. I learned that not all guys are weirded out about dating a virgin. I used to think that would scare guys away, but I realized it helps me separate the good guys with good intentions from the bad ones who are only interested in getting a good lay. I’ve met some amazing guys and truly got to know them because my sexual experience wasn’t important to them. I feel like being a virgin indirectly gave me more confidence when it comes to dating because I now tell guys my boundaries and ask for their intentions right away.

I’ve had people look at me weirdly or feel sorry for me because I haven’t experienced sex yet. I hate that because I am proud that I’m choosing to wait for the right guy. I gained confidence through not caving to peer pressure from guys and acquaintances.

I’m trying to say, through this article, that it’s okay to stick to your choices. Be happy with who you are and your decisions because they are your own. Do not let others try to convince you otherwise. Do you and confidence will follow.


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