You’re 13 and your mom hands you your first cell phone; you suddenly have all this power in the palm of your hands, but no one has ever taught you how to properly harness it. Now you can harness the power of the perfect with these tips that will help start a conversation with a guy, things you should do, and faux pas you should avoid.
1. To Text Him First or Not to Text Him First–That is the Question…
I believe that all women are powerful and can do whatever they please, so if you want to talk to him but he’s not texting you, take life by the horns and send him the first “hello.” Two things could happen: 1) he will reply and you’ll be really freaking happy, or 2) he won’t reply and you’ll be bummed for a minute and then move on. More often than not he forgot or is doing whatever guys do. He’ll be glad you texted him first and took some of the pressure off.
2. The Perfect Time to Text
Mornings are a no-no! Texting him in the morning will freak him out. He’ll think that you’ve been pining for him all night or that you’re inexplicably clingy and that is not cute. If you do it at night (meaning after 9 p.m.), it looks like you’re sitting at home with nothing better to do and if it’s the weekend, that doesn’t look good. That leaves afternoon/evening for prime texting time. I think 7 o’clock is the perfect time, but be careful about picking exact times like 7:00 or 7:15, or it’ll look like you’ve been sitting around planning to text him for a while. Now that I have completely overanalyzed this, take the advice and move on. Don’t sit around stressing about what he thinks about the time you’re sending your texts at. So send that first “Hey” at 7:04 and let the magic begin.
3. So the Texting has Begun… Now What?
After the initial pleasantries, the conversation can start losing its pulse pretty quickly. When those crickets start chirping, the first thing to do is ask a question–that will get the ball rolling without spouting random facts about yourself.
4. Bringing in the Big Guns
If the conversation is on its last leg and you’ve tried asking questions but aren’t getting anything in return, start talking about yourself. I know this sounds stupid and weird, but it works. Make sure whatever you say is interesting–something he can ask questions about or something completely random so that it pretty much starts the conversation over.
5. The Down Low on Text Lingo
Don’t do it. We aren’t in middle school anymore; it’s no longer cute to not know how to spell. I won’t begrudge the occasional “hbu,” but other than that I discourage most abbreviations.
6. Emojis
Emojis are great; they let people know your emotions, but overloading on them can be weird. Just be careful and stick to mostly smiley faces and winkies. When in doubt, let him be the first to use one.
7. !!!!!Punctuation Can Be Tricky!!!!!
Don’t use too many exclamation points! It sounds like you’re super excited about everything! Or are really pissed! If you are actually excited or mad about something, then by all means use those exclamation points. Otherwise, leave them out. With texting I don’t think punctuation is necessary–he won’t be checking your grammar while you’re flirting with him.
8. When It’s Okay to be Freakishly Forward
Sometimes guys just don’t get it. If you have been talking to him, dropping hints, and he still hasn’t asked you out, you might have to ask him. Some guys think you’re just trying to be nice or that they’re already in the friend zone–whatever the reason they might not see that you’re into them, just do it yourself. Ask him to hang out, tell him you want to spend time with him, or that you just want to hook up, whatever it is that you want. The worst he can say is no and that’s okay because at least you tried–at least you aren’t waiting around or sitting on false hope.
9. Never Ever Ever
Don’t ever send provocative pictures to a guy to get his attention. If he’s not texting you back and you think that’s the only way to get a reply, you shouldn’t want to talk to him (let alone go out with him). Sending pictures is bad news–he’s likely to send it to other people, show his friends, or even post it somewhere; one guy isn’t worth your reputation.
Don’t ever talk about bodily functions of any kind. It’s not polite. (It freaks me out so much I can’t even put an example.)
Finally, don’t ever say something that you wouldn’t want your mother to read. Texts get out so easily and once social media finds them, you will never get them back.
10. Sometimes the Movies are Right
There are 8 billion people in the world and about 4 billion are male, so it’s going to take a bit of trial-and-error to find the right one. What I’m saying is that if a guy isn’t texting back, making an effort to get to know you, or asking you to go out and you’ve done everything you can, then the hard truth is he might not be that into you. And that’s okay because you can’t please everyone, you can’t be attractive to everyone, not everyone will want you. Maybe you’ve gained a friend or maybe it’s time to cut your losses and move on. But remember you are a strong, independent woman and that won’t change because of one guy.
Photos supplied by the author.