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Holiday Horrors: Thanksgiving Edition

After a week of extreme highs and lows, it’s a good time to kick back, relax, and remember the good things in life. Hot cocoa, delicious food, breaks from school, and long holiday dinners with family. Of course, that means all of your crazy family members will be there. Everyone has one or two. To celebrate the Thanksgiving season, Her Campus Pitt is sharing a few stories about the crazy (and hilarious) things our families have done on holidays past!

Note: everyone who contributed has been kept anonymous so as to keep peace and good-will all season long.

“My cousin and his brand new wife were sitting at the table and she was telling everyone how handsome he looked this year compared to past years where he was “chubby” (she says while pinching his cheeks of course.) He gets flustered and goes, “You know what? Let’s play the quiet game!” and then he walks out. Her reply, not even realizing she’s a 30-year-old woman as opposed to a child in the backseat who won’t shut up, was ‘Ugh, I always have to play the quiet game!’”

 

“Most years, my family has Thanksgiving dinner with old family friends. But one year, my mom’s brother invited us over to celebrate with his family. We roll up the driveway to see my uncle wearing a flannel shirt and overalls next to a turkey fryer. To top it all off, he’s broken out his coon-skin hat, a fresh beer, and greets us with a ‘happy turkey-day, y’all!’ in his best twang. Dinner included the turkey, all the regular sides, and a mysterious bowl of meatballs that everyone acknowledged but no one commented on. Best Thanksgiving ever.”

 

“One time when I was small both my grandmothers fought over who would sit next to me, their only granddaughter. Eventually, it ended up with me being physically pulled between the two of them and as I cried in the middle. My mom walked in, dropped the pumpkin pie all over the place and rushed in to yell at them. Needless to say I didn’t sit by either one of them that year and we didn’t have any pumpkin pie!”

 

“My brother does a lot of things without thinking. One year he decided to take a running jump over the back of my grandma’s couch and somersault onto the sofa (because these are the things preteen boys do), but when he sat up everyone was dying because someone had left their pie on the couch when they got up to use the bathroom and my brother had it stuck to the top of his head!”

 

“We’re a big corgi family, so one year different families had brought their corgis to my grandma’s for Thanksgiving. During the meal, a piece of food fell under the table and these corgis who don’t know each other started brawling, and who should jump in of the 25 of us but my poor, old grandmother. She successfully broke it up but was quite bloodied, and we still talk about it.”

 

“My uncle tells me every. Single. Year. How attractive I am now. How I’ve grown into a woman now. How good I look etc etc so many unnecessary times over the holidays that I am so uncomfortable and I switch place cards with people at dinner to sit far away from him.”

 

“One year my OCD aunt insisted on making the turkey because my grandma should “retire” her skills and relax. Nice gesture. But then 18 people got food poisoning from undercooked turkey with only 2 bathrooms in the house. I went outside to puke in the NY snow at one point. Love the holidays.”

 

“One year my mom got drunk at my dad’s family Thanksgiving and started asking them why they disliked her point blank…this is why, ma. This is why.”

 

A very special thank you to all who contributed! And from all the girls at Her Campus Pitt, we’re wishing you and you’re a very happy – and hilarious – Thanksgiving dinner!

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A senior English Writing major at Pitt, one of the senior editors here at HC Pitt. The resident maker, news junkie, and history nerd, I can hem your pants and tutor you in the American Civil War, no problem!
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