There’s always going to be those couples around featuring a really hot guy and an equally pretty girl. However, occasionally you see a really hot guy with a just okay looking girl and you think, “What does she have that I don’t?” These particular couples display the reacher-settler phenomenon in which one member of the couple, the reacher, is somewhat less attractive than the other member, the settler, giving the appearance that one of them is out of the other’s league. But, did you ever wonder where these “leagues” came from and why people seem to be so preoccupied with them? In my opinion, it all goes back to high school. Yes, those horribly awkward times that you’ve been so desperately trying to forget are still coming back to haunt your subconscious. Fortunately, by exposing the logistics of this insane idea of leagues, I believe we can move one big step forward towards putting those painful, prepubescent memories in the past where they belong.
We all remember that one gorgeous guy in high school that all the other teenage girls were secretly pining for. Unfortunately, he only seemed to date girls from the “popular” crowd of which the majority of people, including myself, were not a part of. A lot of students in any particular high school have known each other since kindergarten and most high schools are small enough for everyone to know everyone else’s social standing. Inter-clique mingling is considered such taboo, or social suicide if you will, that people tend to only associate, as well as date, within their respective cliques. These social standings get established rather quickly and tend to remain the same throughout young students’ educational careers. That is, until they get to college.
The beauty of college is that you pretty much get a clean slate. You have never met the majority of your new classmates before and, even better, they have no idea who you were in the past, particularly in high school. Even if you’re not actually a college student, the people you’re surrounded by can still be considered your “classmates.” Sometimes cliques get reestablished but mostly, college kids simply just don’t care who is hanging out with whom. But despite this new lease on life they’ve been given, a lot of girls who weren’t considered popular in high school still think they’re restricted to only hang out with the kind of people they’re used to hanging out with. So, when they come across a hot guy, they get intimidated and immediately think he could never be interested in them because, “he’s so, like, out of my league.” However, as I stated earlier, it’s not uncommon for post-high school guys to “date down” because they’re not concerned with being socially acceptable in everyone else’s eyes anymore. The most important thing to them is finding someone they like and that they’re compatible with. Sure, attraction is an important aspect of any relationship, but there is at least one key way to get anyone’s attention: confidence.
A truly confident girl is completely secure with who she is and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks about her. People are drawn to confident girls because it seems like they have a secret that everyone else wants to know. Confidence is about being comfortable with yourself. As long as you aren’t taking it so far as to seem vain, you’ll be very approachable because people will feel relaxed around you, making it effortless to let your true personality shine. And even if you do put yourself out there and a guy just isn’t feeling it, don’t sweat it. There’s plenty more where that came from.
With this in mind, I challenge you to throw out all those preconceived notions you have about people being limited to certain categories of other people based on their looks alone. Taking it one step further, next time you see that hottie you’ve been not so discreetly staring at in math class, flash him a smile and let your confidence reel him in.