“Well, he’s really cute and he plays baseball. He’s from Jersey, and he has a great body. Oh my God, he’s so funny, too. This one time, he….” Yeah, this is pretty much the initial rundown we give our girls when we first start seeing a guy (and, of course, there is the occasional stalking of his profile pictures on Facebook). That ridiculous, goofy, little girl grin spreads across our faces as we explain to our best friends all that we’ve learned about our new hottie – everything from the name of his dog, to what he ate for breakfast. But, as with anything new, this potential romance has the possibility of fizzling out faster than your last relationship in the fifth grade. So, to ensure that your cutie stays committed and says those magic words (“When are you going to be my girl?” “Be mine.” “I want to be exclusive”), here are four things that you must solemnly swear NOT to do:
1. Text him first or all the time. Yes, I know, we all want to have hysterically witty texting convos throughout the day. We want banter and cute texts and– oh yes – kissy face emojis. We want everyone to know that that special guy is texting us when we glance at our phone and that uncontrollable smile appears. So, why not text him all day? There are a few reasons.
- Guys usually don’t have the attention span or memory to text incessantly all day long; video games and their friends really do distract them. And don’t forget they have to attend class and pay attention (you want a scholar, not a slacker).
- You should make him miss you. If he constantly knows what you’re doing and whom you’re with, he’ll never need to wonder about you, and that’s NOT GOOD. If you don’t text him your every move, he’s going to be thinking about YOU. All. Day. Long. (What’s she up to? Who’s she with? These are the kinds of questions that will be swimming through that sweet little head of his…) This also goes along with not texting back in a nanosecond; it seems a little desperate when he shoots you, “Hey” at 3:01:02 and receives, “What’s up?!” from you at 3:01:10.
- Let him be the first to text you. (I know, it seems so old fashion, but I think our strong female ancestors before us had the right idea). Think about it… when a guy texts YOU FIRST, have you ever noticed that the conversation is more awesome? Funny? Entertaining? Sweet? That’s because he’s invested and is ready to talk, so it’s going to be a better conversation. But remember, just because he texted you at his convenience doesn’t mean it works for you…so, if you take quite some time to respond, his loss.
2. Sleep with him. Oh I know, y’all are probably thinking that this is just a down right cruel rule, especially when he has a bangin’ bod like Ryan Lochte and the take-home-to-momma charm of Ryan Gosling, but making him wait does wonders for the relationship-to-be. By keeping those high-waisted jeans buttoned up, you’re ensuring that the guy is in it for you and not the bragging rights to his bros. You not only protect yourself from a lot of potential pain, but you also add excitement to your relationship! Taking it slow makes him 1) respect you and 2) want you even more. (With all that said, you best be making sure that you’re at least kissing on his lips…especially if they are as nice as either of the Ryans).
3. Say, “Who was that girl you glanced at for 4 seconds in Chem Lab?!” Oh yes, the one rule we have ALL been guilty of: possessiveness. “What’s mine is mine, right?” WRONG. That is the easiest way to make him say “Sayonara!” Being the jealous girl (especially early on) will make him run for the hills – fast. If you want him to stick around, you have to make sure that you are aloof when it comes to his interactions with other girls. He is allowed to have friends, and if he is trying to make you jealous, do not give him what he wants. If you set the precedent for the relationship that you’re going to flip a sh*t every time he talks to another female, he is going to continue to get you mad and use it against you. You want to be a happy girl, not a petty one. If he is really into you, he probably didn’t even realize the blonde bombshell in Chem. (But remember, if he continues to try to make you jealous, he’s a little immature…and might not be ready to make the leap into relationship territory).
Side Note: stealing his phone and reading his text messages is also a no-no. I, myself, am guilty as charged; trust me gals, it never ends well, so don’t do it!
4. Not letting him chill with the guys alone. Just like we need pedicures and a regular gossip sesh with our girls, he needs to be with his friends…alone. I know it’s so cute when he gets mad and competitive over Fifa when he’s with his bros, but honestly ladies, you have better things to do with your time. It’s important that he chills with his guys without you around. If you become the girlfriend that is always there, you’re not going to be popular with his friends, and that’s never a good thing. If they don’t like you, it’s going to cause huge problems in your relationship-to-be. Besides, if you become the girl that is constantly with him, you’re going to a) become kind of boring to him because (again) he’ll never have to wonder about your whereabouts and b) you’re going to lose your friends. Whatever you take out of these rules, this is the most important thing: your girls should always be #1, and putting them on the backburner for a new fling is the worst thing you could do.
When it comes to a brewing romance, you can’t help but get butterflies thinking about your soon to be signif, and you might try to jump the gun and break one of these rules: BUT DON’T. Patience is a virtue, jealousy is ugly, and possessiveness is just down right SCARY. Think of these three unwritten laws and memorize the four ways to NOT scare off a possible beau and trust me, girls, you’ll be happy a year from now when you’re still the only one smoochin’ on those Ryan-esque lips.
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