Gender Double Standards: From The Guy Perspective

I feel like as women, there are a lot of double standards we face. We can be slut-shamed when we sleep with multiple people, while men are hailed as legends. Also, when we feel angry, guys can automatically think you’re on your period but when they’re angry, it’s fine. I wondered what double standards guys face so I asked my amazing friend, Andrew, and here’s what he had to say! *Disclaimer: This is one man’s opinion and doesn’t reflect all the thoughts of men! *

As a man, I have faced many double standards especially in relationships from when I was in high school until now as an upperclassman at Pitt. Many of them are just societal norms or are considered common courtesy, chivalry, etc. However, there are other ones that are extreme and blatant double standards. As a man, I believe I am to hold women with utmost respect. Being raised by southern and Christian parents, I know that my parents would be very displeased if I didn't honor a woman or respect her, so I always did. However, there were some times that I faced extreme double standards just because I am a man.

 

1.) If we breakup, I can't be mad. 

I have had numerous breakups in high school and college. However, if was ever the one to break it off, I was called a "douche", "dick", etc. and all of her friends looked at me with rage if they saw me on campus. However, if a girl ever broke up with me, I would have to always respect her decision that things didn't work out and keep pressing on through life. It would never be suitable for me to call her a "bitch" or anything of that nature and my friends would be completely out of line to disrespect her in any manner. 

 

2.) Guys appreciate while SOME girls expect.

Now don't let the title mislead you, I love showing up with flowers, taking girls on dates, surprising her at the library with snacks when she has a paper or test due the next day, opening the car door for her, etc. I actually enjoy doing these things because it is a way for me to show my affection. However, if the roles were reversed, I would have to be damn appreciative of that special someone going out of their way for me. But too often, girls just begin to expect it. It becomes routine for them. One time I was dating a girl and she said "If you don't open the car door for me, I won't get it". This attitude left a bad taste in my mouth because it made the relationship a lot more about her and not about us. And for those wondering, I broke up with her a week later. 

 

3.) She can be friends with other guys, but you can't be friends with other girls

I have been told many times I can't be friends with other girls. However, she has been friends with guys and she assures me that they are "just friends", yet she eventually cheated on me with that same dude. Personally, this is a HUGE double standard because one of my closest friends in college is a girl. Regardless, we have zero romantic interest in each other. The only reason we are so close is because we both have had similar experiences of mental illness in life. However, my close friend is often looked at as a threat to girls who either like me or are dating me solely based on the fact that she is a girl and I am a guy. 

 

It's important that we are aware of the double standards both sides face. Stay tuned for the next article on the female’s perspective!

 

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