That first date with the cute guy you’ve had your eye on can be extremely nerve wracking. You worry about what you should wear, where you’ll be going, how you should act, and the most terrifying aspect: conversation. You think maybe you should keep it simple, just tell him the basics about your life and who you are.
Or maybe you should tell him some funny anecdotes to lighten the mood. There are a lot of conversation topics that can really get the chemistry between you two flowing, but of course there are also some that can completely kill the mood. Here are some subjects you definitely want to stay away from in order to help ensure that that guy will call you for a round two:
1. Politics and religion. These topics are way too controversial to bring up on a first date. Even if you feel strongly about a certain position, your date might not agree and you do not want to put him on the spot if he doesn’t feel comfortable discussing. If he does feel comfortable discussing, you could potentially get into a heated debate, causing a scene, and embarrassing both of you. First date conversations should be light and breezy, so save the difficult subjects for when you know each other a lot better.
2. Exes. Whether it’s your ex or his, nothing kills the mood more than talking about past relationships when you’re trying to create one for the future. Asking him questions about his ex-girlfriends might bring up some rough memories for him, or he could think you’re trying to compete with them. The only thing you need to know is that he’s not with them anymore and he’s interested in you, so be happy! On the other hand, bringing up your exes is also a no-no. If you’re talking about all the nice things your ex-boyfriend did for you, your new date might think you’re unfairly comparing them and that you’re not over him. If you’re trash talking your ex and saying how much you hate him, your date might think you’re bitter and spiteful, which is not something he wants to deal with if things don’t go so peachy between you. It’s a lose-lose situation so keep past relationships where they belong: in the past.
3. Your life story. Your date doesn’t need to know what you ate for breakfast, your family’s medical history, your social security number, and everything in between. Chances are, if you’re telling him everything about your life, you’re talking too much and not letting him get a word in. He might think you’re conceited if you go on and on about yourself and don’t ask anything about him. First dates should have a give and take conversation. You tell him a few things about you and then he reciprocates with some tidbits about him. Plus, if you tell him everything about you in one night, he doesn’t need to talk to you again because there’s nothing interesting to learn anymore. The trick is to be a little mysterious and leave him wanting more.
4. The weather. This talking point may seem harmless, but that is only why it’s so dangerous. The weather is something you can talk about with virtually any other person you meet, making it the most impersonal topic of conversation. Clearly if you’re on a date in the same place, you’ve both been experiencing the same weather for the past few days; there’s no need to discuss it. If your date starts commenting on how bad the weather’s been lately, it’s a sure sign he’s losing interest and the date is going nowhere fast. Reel him back in by complimenting him on how well put together his outfit is (or something to that effect, guys love compliments just as much as girls) while you coolly think of a new, interesting subject.
While first dates can be tough, they’re pretty much required at the start of every new relationship. So, make sure you win him over by letting your personality shine and spark his interest with some fun facts about yourself. Tell him about your favorite thing to do on the weekends, the best vacation you ever went on, or your favorite class you’re taking. You can pretty much talk about whatever you want on a first date, and as long as you avoid these four date killers, you’re golden.