If you were to search on this very website for articles with the keyword or tag “fat,” almost 500 pages of search results would come up. If you do the same for other women’s magazines, you will find generations of women who are OBSESSED with their weight and appearance. My point is that we have to get over this whole weight thing once and for all.
This week, I was going to write an article about how my weight fluctuation in college impacts my self-esteem, but I can’t. I am physically sick from the constant, overbearing commentary about women with LITERALLY any physique. Instead, I am going to tell you about five traits that matter more to your future than your weight and appearance.
1. Patience. You have to learn to be patient. I too struggle with this daily. If you find yourself getting annoyed or anxious because you’re bored in class or frustrated with a line or nervous leading up to an important event, try grounding techniques. I like to do breathing exercises when I’m feeling really bent out of shape. You count to five slowly on your inhale, hold for a moment, then count back down as you exhale. If you try it for even 30 seconds, you will feel yourself coming back to center.
2. Compassion. Always put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to avoid a judgmental gut reaction when you see someone do something you wouldn’t do. View it in an objective way, as if you were trying to understand a character in a book. Ask yourself, “Why are they doing this? What is their motivation?” A lot of people, for example, get judgmental about hooking up, even when the majority of students do it. If you think, “Ew, I’d never hook up with him/her,” consider why someone might. It’s possible that you don’t know that person well enough to really have a fair judgment of them.
3. Integrity. I was caught cheating in high school the only time I ever tried to. It was enough of a punishment to never do it again. The fear that I would fail motivated me. Part of having integrity means that you have to be honest with yourself. I failed because I didn’t prepare, not because the professor suddenly changed their entire curriculum. You can own up to good things, too: I did really awesomely in an interview because I was candid about my beliefs and career goals.
4. Flexibility. Opening your mind to new things is so important! Whether it’s a new experience like traveling abroad or just freeing up some time to hang out with a new friend, it’s important to be flexible. You never know what you’re missing until you’ve tried. Even if it goes poorly, at least you tried. Take my Chinese hot-pot fiasco, for example. I tried tripe without knowing what it would be. Tripe is an “acquired taste,” and definitely not my thing, but because of a restaurant fee for wasting food, I had to eat it all. I will never again eat tripe, but at least I know now that I don’t like it.
5. Discipline. In order to be successful, you need to be ready to sit down and really work at something until you understand. I routinely sit at the library and stay there until I understand the material in full. We’re talking 13 hours on a Sunday, pretty much biweekly. It sucks, it’s boring and I hate it, but in classes like organic chemistry, persistence wins out over pure intelligence. You have to be willing to put in the time and effort in order to realize your potential.
Look at that adorable discipline right there. Before I step off my soapbox, I’ll leave you with some final thoughts. I firmly believe your future does not depend on your looks at all. It depends on your attitude. Treat others well, treat yourself well and work hard to get ahead. Above all, “to thine own self be true.” Remain ambitious, my fellow Her Campus enthusiasts.