First impressions are everything when meeting new people, and the first conversation is critical. When you see a guy at a party or go out on a first date, you’re going to want to strike up conversation and make a good first impression. I know that my first impression of a girl is cemented in two minutes and usually comes from the first things she says. This is true for most guys. There are certain things a girl will say that could raise a red flag for a guy. Often times, girls don’t even realize this, and it can have rather disastrous consequences. Those of you who have seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You have a pretty good idea of how this works. So I will be the Alex to your Gigi and help you stop raising red flags. Here are five things that you should avoid saying to a guy when you want to make a good first impression:
“I love Taylor Swift! She, like, defines my life.” Nine times out of ten, this statement will raise a red flag. Guys know that a lot of girls like Taylor Swift and there’s nothing wrong with that. She has made a career writing songs about the sad girl who got her heart broken by the boy of her dreams. Of course, many girls do identify with songs like that. If you come off as a T-Swift super fan though, don’t be surprised if the guy tries to escape. To guys, her songs come off as a bit crazy. She falls in love with a guy in what seems like a week’s time, and then when he “breaks her heart,” she starts saying he’s a jerk. Because of this, Taylor Swift fans have the reputation that they too want to fall head over heels for a guy in a week- only to be heartbroken when the guy isn’t interested. Is it an accurate picture of all Taylor Swift fans? No. That being said, you should still be aware of her fans’ reputations and tone down the rhetoric; otherwise you are never ever ever getting that guy.
“You should buy me a drink.” This line is usually pulled a couple minutes into the conversation. Unfortunately, women have learned that guys can be pretty easily persuaded with a nice smile and a bit of cleavage. While a lot of guys will often buy you that drink, others are turned off. The message a guy gets here is, “I just want you to buy me a drink and I have no interest in you whatsoever.” Now, I will admit that guys must accept some blame for encouraging this behavior. That aside, trying to get a guy to buy you a drink does not convey any interest, and any guy with good sense usually comes to this conclusion. My advice: buy your own drinks and convey genuine interest in the guy. If he likes you, he’ll buy you a drink.
Airing out your dirty laundry: Understanding and accepting that everyone has gone through different life experiences is part of being human. The problem some girls have is disclosing too much too soon. Part of making a good first impression is hiding some of your crazy. It’s okay to let out a little bit just to see if you’re compatible with a guy. You might want to hold off on telling a guy about your kinky sex habits or silly family stories within the first few minutes. Things like that are likely to be followed by uncomfortable silence and an awkward response. When making a first impression, you want to put your best foot forward. So save some of the private stuff for later when you know each other better.
“I really want children.” Whoa! I just met you! Ladies, I know some day you may want to be a mother and that’s great. Eventually, guys want to become fathers themselves, but we do not want to talk about children when we first meet you. It’s not that we don’t like the idea of children at all. We just don’t like the idea now. If you start talking about kids on a first date, the guy is going to think you’re being too forward and run away the first chance he gets. I should qualify this though. There’s nothing wrong with saying things like, “Oh, my nephew is so adorable,” if it’s relevant and appropriate to the conversation. Just don’t make a guy feel like you want him to father your children after one coffee date. Things like that can wait; preferably for a while.
Talking about your ex: This is an automatic red flag for almost every guy. For starters, if you’re talking about your ex, you’re not focusing on the guy you’re talking to! The biggest and most obvious problem with this is that you come off as if you aren’t over your ex. A guy is going to immediately lose interest if he thinks you still have feelings for someone else. It’s a huge turn off. A girl who isn’t over her ex is not someone with whom a guy wants to form a relationship. The best policy when it comes to talking about your ex is: don’t. No matter how much fun he was or how relevant he is to the conversation, absolutely nothing good will come from mentioning him. Talking about your ex won’t make this guy like you more. If you’re really over your ex, focus on the guy you’re talking to here and now. Just remember: he’s your ex for a reason and guys do not want to hear about him.
Hopefully these examples will give you an idea of what raises red flags for a guy when he first meets you. The most important thing to remember when making a first impression is to always put your best foot forward. Be funny. Be interesting. Be interested in what the guy is saying. Follow those tips, and avoid the things above and you will have no problem catching a guy’s interest.