“He’s really cute! And so nice! Too bad he’s shorter than you.”
As we walked inside Towers, my friends decided that was that. He was shorter. Conversation over. Next.
There seems to be an unwritten law that a girl must date a guy who is taller than she is. You know, in case she has to wear heels? And isn’t he supposed to be able to lift her and spin her around?
I let my friends be right for a few months. Yes, he is shorter than me. What a shame. What a loss. But then, he and I had a conversation on a bus. We laughed and carried on talking for hours – no height issues here. And then he held my hand, let me fall asleep on his shoulder – no height issues there. And then I did it. I broke “the law.” I started to date someone shorter than me.
I can honestly say that in the past year we’ve been dating (and we still are) I have not run into any situation where I have this sudden, vast regret about the fact that I fell for someone on the shorter side.
I’m writing this to say that it’s okay to date someone shorter than you. Height should not have an impact on the quality of your relationship – well, that is if it is a quality relationship.
A good relationship is built on friendship. That cliché, where you blush and say, “He’s my best friend.” I have friends of all heights. Short and tall. So, if height doesn’t matter in friendship, and I want my partner to be my best friend, why should height be a rule for partners?
I will admit that it’s sometimes a talking point. At work over the summer, I talked about my boyfriend and then one day, when he came in to pick me up, my coworkers gaped, “Wait! Is he shorter than you?” I found this very silly. How does the height of my boyfriend change all the things I’ve told you about him? Or, should I preface with someone’s height, weight, perhaps their age and BMI, before I even begin to talk about someone?
I guess there’s a stereotype that a shorter guy is less of a man. The average height for an American male is 5’10”. So I suppose the assumption goes that if you’re below average in height, maybe you’re below average in other categories. But we don’t make that same assumption for girls. We don’t say oh, girls who are shorter are smarter, and tall girls are more creative and outgoing. Height has no bearing on anything else. Take for example Nick Jonas, Daniel Radcliffe, Usher, Josh Hutcherson, or Jared Leto. All are below average height. But we don’t question their talents or abilities (or their ability to make us swoon).
We’re definitely superficial creatures. We spend much of our money on “fashionable” clothing and we know that if a guy calls a girl a 7, he means in terms of hotness. We are used to categorizing people in our heads based on appearances. But I want to tell you that if you limit yourself to aesthetic dimensions, you are going to miss out. I promise you will find no reflection of who someone is in the double-digit number of inches they measure up to be. If you dismiss someone who is two inches “two short,” you could be missing out on someone, maybe even the one. People always complain that there is no one to date. Well, perhaps that’s because you’re limiting your own dating pool. Be open. Ignore dating “laws.” There are more guys out there than you think.
I’m not saying that everyone should go out and date someone shorter. I’m not saying that shorter is better. And that’s exactly my point. No height is better. Because, in the end, height doesn’t play a role. If you’re going to fall in love with someone, you’re going to care about what they like and dislike, what they value, and what bothers them. You’re going to care about the way they treat you. You’re going to care that they’re there when you are in need. Height isn’t going to impact any of those things. At the end of the day, you’re going to lay down and hold one another, heads lined up on the pillow, eye to eye, and it won’t matter whose feet stretch farther toward the end of the mattress.