Thanksgiving day is fast approaching along with the somehow associated stigma that family feasts include unwanted political discussions. I do not know how the two topics became associated. What is it about sitting and eating—admittedly, this can sometimes be uncomfortable with a large group of people (especially family)—that influences talking about current events? Although, the connection is not totally unwanted since it gave rise to the infamous #thanksgiving #clapbacks. Here are some casual ways to handle those discussions with your immediate or extended family.
Leave
Grab a to-go container, fill it with stuffing and gtfo.
Throw a Clap-Back
Some personal favorites include:
“No one invited you here,” “No one asked for your opinion” and, similar to the canned cranberry sauce we used three Thanksgivings ago, “You are expired” (@grandpa).
Change the Topic to Plastic in the Ocean
More plastic than fish by 2050? Something to discuss.
Display Your New Neck Tattoo
“No, Mom, it’s not a phase. This is who I really am.”
Say Something Completely Nonsensical
Did you know Fanny Kaplan had a pet zebra, whose aesthetic patterns influenced her to pursue a degree in math, then went on to create the notorious Kaplan Test Prep company?
83 Percent of the Time….
If you find yourself in a discussion and need a quick fact, forget Google, 83 percent of the time made up facts do not get checked. Unless NPR reserved a seat at your family table, I think you are fine.
Say You Switched Your Major and Want to Move to Europe Indefinitely
Call it “Professional Development.”
Does Anyone Here Understand Quantum Mechanics?
When everyone asks about school and relationships and you have no idea how to answer in 30 seconds, tell them random, specific facts about your hardest classes. “Electromagnetic fields are created when electrons display a spin around their nuclear axis, allowing for nuclear magnetic resonance imaging.”
Respond in a Different Language
“Ni modo, así es la vida.”