Sorority rush: two of the most simultaneously exciting and intimidating words ever to be uttered in succession to many college women at the beginning of fall semester. I was one of these women in fall 2013, my first semester at Pitt as a sophomore transfer. Fresh out of American University and the politically-charged-hyper-accepting atmosphere of D.C., I was wary of what awaited me in Pittsburgh for several reasons. Mostly as I was struggling to fully “come out” with my sexuality.
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Full of doubts, I went into recruitment totally assuming I would drop half-way through, but was pleasantly surprised when I actually found my home in greek life. On bid day, I sat literally on top of my bid with my heart beating in my throat for 30 minutes at a speed I wasn’t quite sure was safe. I sat among hundreds of other girls, who knows how many hoping for the same result as me. Finally, when we were allowed to open our bids, I ran through the Union to storm Amos with my new sisters, overcome with happiness to be a part of the house I wanted so bad.
Once in the house, I only told people as it came up naturally—like to my new member mentor and my big, when I got her. Even now I’m not sure entirely sure every last sister from the whole time I’ve been involved in the house knows, and if they all do it definitely isn’t because I specifically told each and every one of them.
Looking back, I think the thing that bothered me most about coming out was just that it’s a commonly accepted practice for people to have to “come out.” I didn’t see it as something I necessarily had to do; to me, announcing it didn’t make it reality. Being gay is a part of my world, yes, but it’s not my whole world, and for that and many other reasons I felt no obligation to take a special time out of my life to alert people.
Greek life and being gay aren’t things I feel are commonly associated with one another, and it still could be a stigma some girls would let deter them from rushing. A year later, I’m still a part of the house I love and I don’t feel that my sexual orientation has influenced that experience for me. While it may feel weird at first to tell people, I feel it occurs naturally when the time is right and isn’t something that can be forced. If anything, I used it as a gauge during recruitment the same way anyone with anything different about them could. I found myself thinking after each round: do I see myself being able to be open with these girls? If not, do I really think this is for me? Each time I returned something about the girls I talked to told me I could be completely at ease and not feel the need to ever explain myself.
I’ve never had to “come out” to my sorority, not because it’s not known, but because for them, it’s not an issue. I made the decision to step out of my comfort zone and go through recruitment, and it remains to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My experience with greek life has broken down all stereotypes and removed all doubts I had in my mind before deciding to go through with recruitment.  I found a group of girls where I can say “hey I’m gay” and have it received “oh cool” the same as if a sister had said “my favorite color is blue.” I’ve learned so much about not only the amazing women I call my sisters but also about myself, and about how to be a better sister, peer, daughter, friend, and woman.