Because I studied far, far away for my freshman year and my parents also didn’t live in the US until recently, I’ve spent a number of holidays and birthdays alone or with acquaintances. Of course, there are often some major feelings of loneliness and painful nostalgia, but being alone on the holidays truly does not have to be bad. This Thanksgiving break I hung back around campus to catch up on studies and to save money, so I followed my rules of thumb:
Make sure you don’t have any friends in town. There will be a lot of “I’m thankful for…” statuses on Facebook, so try to weed through those to find someone saying something like, “Anyone still in Oakland?” If you really don’t have any social options, don’t worry! This is your chance to cook your food just how you like it, to put off cleaning as long as you want, to finally wear your PJ’s to the holiday dinner, and to leave the TV on the whole time. Treat yourself.
Grab some of your favorite holiday staples like fresh turkey slices (without having to cook the turkey) and the ingredients for pumpkin pie. You can pick and choose, go cheaper or more luxurious, and skip that dish you ate just to be polite. Do you want your Thanksgiving celebration to have turkey and pop-tarts? Go for it.
Once you have the food picked out (especially important for food-centric holidays like…all of them), set out a very detailed plan for yourself. Over-plan. Make a list of everything you could possibly do or want to do in the city. Keeping busy or otherwise hanging in public is a great cure for loneliness, and even if you don’t make it to half of the things on your list, you will feel accomplished by getting yourself out there and participating in something you wouldn’t have otherwise seen. Go for a long walk in the colder weather and appreciate your area when the city is considerably quieter, or take this opportunity to snag any table you want in the library. Last Thanksgiving, I woke up early to go watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person. It was great!
Decorating is another holiday-minded activity to keep you busy. Even if you won’t have company over, it will be more comforting if you hang little cutouts around your place or throw a cloth over your kitchen table. Make something like seasonal cookies to have around to snack on and remind you of home. To prevent any potential lonely silence, put on your favorite show or movie (this is not the time to watch The Notebook! Keep it light!).
An often forgotten part of self-care and self-love, which are crucial for combatting loneliness, is staying healthy. It’s a holiday break, so sleeping in is completely understandable. However, if you are alone, try to avoid unsafe habits like drinking a lot on your own. Take the brief lack of social life or responsibilities as an excuse to unwind in other ways like going to the gym or taking a long bath.
Finally, this is the age of technology! If you want to see your family this year but can’t afford it, Skype them! When I Skype in to family parties, I end up feeling glad I stayed away from the chaos on the other side.
This year I am thankful for…self-reliance!