How often do you look at your contact list? If it’s been a while, I implore you to do it right now. I constantly maintain my social media following lists to weed out the people that don’t interest me anymore, but I’ve never done it with my phone. Why do I still have so many incorrectly labelled, outdated numbers? Perusing through the numbers I still have but haven’t used in years has taken me on a nostalgia trip. ….And it’s also left me extremely puzzled. Here are a few of the thoughts I had while scrolling through phone numbers I don’t need in my contact list anymore.
1. Someone I networked with: Something tells me I did this wrong. I’m fairly certain that a phone number is not the most professional way to make a networking connection. Can I text you to ask for your email address? Sometimes I use you as the fake person I’m texting to avoid eye contact with people in public.
2. “Gay Same Major Other School”: Who are you? Literally I can’t remember who you are at all. If I was hoping to use this phone number for networking I MOST DEFINITELY did it wrong. Imagine starting a business inquiry with this: “Dear Gay Same Major Other School, how are you? Can you help me get an interview?”
3. The boy I had a crush on in high school: You told me to text you the homework. I think it was your excuse to give me your number. And then you never answered any time I texted you. What a way to inspire fear of rejection in a girl. Ah, to be young and in high school again. Just kidding. You couldn’t get me to relive high school again for all the pizza in the world. What was this about again? Oh yeah, your phone number. I still have it, and I don’t know why.
4. Panther Central: TBT all those lockout codes you gave me. I don’t miss you. I also don’t miss standing in the hallway wrapped in a towel because you put me on hold before I could talk to someone about the fact that I was naked and locked out of my room.
5. That one guy in a band: LOL.
6. Some boy I kissed at a party freshman year: I didn’t even text you the day after so it’s certainly not like I’m going to text you three years later. I didn’t even bother to look you up on Facebook. In fact, I still haven’t bothered to. Sometimes I scroll through and see your name and wonder who the hell you are. Then I remember and decide to not delete the number just quite yet because it reminds of me dark basements and bumpy rides home on the 10A.
7. My 10 year old cousin: Please stop texting me. I’m doing laundry and that is not something you even comprehend.
8. Julia 1/Julia 2/Julia GOOD: Why do you have 3 different numbers? Why can’t I figure out which one is correct?
9. My high school French teacher: I was creeping on your Facebook yesterday. Your profile photo was you in a wedding dress so I suppose congratulations on your marriage are in order! I didn’t add you on Facebook and I’m also not going to text you. I didn’t keep in touch because I dropped my first semester French class freshman year and never looked back. Je suis désolée!
P.S. I’ve decided not to delete any of these. I’m going to look at them for more amusement in a few years.