Now, you may have heard all those quotes about putting others first, but that shouldn’t always be the case. If you’re anything like me, you’re a people-pleaser. You want to make every single person you ever meet happy and you just really want them to like you, to the point where you change who you are and make yourself unhappy. It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to put yourself first from time to time and I’m here to tell you why.
It’s hard to realize putting yourself is okay sometimes, but here’s five different steps to help:
1. Love yourself. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough and that you’re doing something wrong if someone doesn’t automatically like you. This will only cause you problems in the future with every person you ever meet.
2. Turn off your cell phone for a few hours and have some “Me Time.” Take a bubble bath, get a coffee, read, listen to music, or have a good cry. This is not selfish at all.
3. Cut off toxic relationships in your life. They’re only going to bring you down and they aren’t good for your health. I know it’s difficult sometimes, but please do this for yourself.
4. Write out your feelings. Write a letter to yourself, write a poem, write a journal entry, or anything else. It feels good to write things down on paper. You can even add to the effect and rip, burn, or crumple whatever you just wrote, destroy those feelings.
5. Talk to someone you trust. Talk to them about how you feel and let them help you, please. If you bottle everything up, you’re only harming yourself and your health even more.
What everyone needs to understand is that your personal health and feelings are really important and if you’re getting to the point where you’re upset, exhausted, or crying over not being able to make someone else happy, it’s not healthy. Remember, in the words of the fabulous Ru Paul:
Second photo: Author’s own screenshot