Everyone here at Pitt loves to talk about how great our school is, and no one will shut up about how lucky we are to live in such a wonderful city. But let’s be real. These are all just things people say to make themselves feel better, because, honestly, Pittsburgh is pretty much the worst. To prove my point, here is a list of 20 things that Pitt students hate about Pittsburgh.
1. First of all, we live in a city. So many of my friends from home made the right call when they went to colleges in the middle of nowhere. You know, those campuses that are surrounded by cornfields and are located in towns where there are more farm animals than people? But we have no such luxury. Here at Pitt, when we step off campus, there are restaurants to eat at, shows to see, and sporting events to attend. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by my options that I just give up and stay home. Ugh, Pittsburgh.
2. Cathy is too distracting. When you think of our campus, what is the first thing that comes to mind? It’s the Cathedral of Learning, right? THAT’S BECAUSE CATHY IS THE CENTER OF OUR LIVES! I can’t scroll through my Instagram feed without running into that majestic beauty of a building. Man, she is such an attention hog!
3. I mean, who wants to look at this all day?
4. Seriously, she looks good from all angles!
5. And in all seasons!
6. Who does Cathy think she is??? IT’S NOT EVEN FAIR!
7. Pittsburgh has buildings AND nature. My whole life, I’ve been told that you can’t have the best of both worlds. But, living in Pittsburgh, I have been able to go from catching a bus for an evening downtown one day to hiking through one of the area’s beautiful parks the next. But they say you can’t have it all? I’m so confused.
8. They put french-fries in sandwiches. It’s blasphemous! It’s unnatural! It’s delicious…
9. Speaking of food, who would ever want to eat these?
10. Or this?
11. Or drink a Toasted Almond Fudge Java milkshake from The Milkshake Factory? Or Chocolate Raspberry Truffle? Or Chocolate Mint Chipper? Or any of their other 50+ gourmet flavors? Who would want a sip of these?
12. Pitt students despise watching movies like The Dark Knight Rises or Perks of Being a Wallflower because it just reminds them that the city they live in is cool enough to be featured in awesome films.
13. They can’t even watch 42 without noticing the Cathedral’s cameo in the background of shots of Forbes Field. YOU CAN’T STAY OUT OF THE LIMELITE FOR ONE SECOND, CAN YOU, CATHY?!?!
14. There are too many sports teams to keep track of. How can someone root for a baseball, a football, AND a hockey team? It’s just too much. And the fact that these teams create a sense of community among Pittsburgh fans across the nation is just awful.
15. There are too many bridges. And rivers. And breathtaking views.
16. Like, who wants to see stuff like this?
17. And this?
18. Ugh, and this??
19. Come on, Pittsburgh.
20. Seriously. Do less.
Photo Credits: 1, 2, 3 (author’s own image), 4 (author’s own image), 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 (author’s own image), 10, 11 (author’s own image), 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21