10 Reasons Why College & Kindergarten are Essentially the Same Thing

Now, I know what you’re all thinking, “We are in college for goodness sake; we are practically adults!” We are far beyond those days of our childhood when all that mattered was if we had the right crayons to color our projects in art or if we knew the words to “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.” I’m not here to belittle your personal and academic growth. I’m just here to tell you that if you think about it, there is quite a bit of regression that your brain has gone through since arriving at college. From the moment your first semester started, a small part of your brain went back into kindergarten mode. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; it’s a natural part of life. In a way, I believe we all must first be children again before we can truly become adults.  Don’t believe me? Allow me to break it down for you.

1. When you’re starting out, your parents keep bugging you to make new friends.

Every phone call you have with your parents might start with “How are your classes going?” What they really mean is “Did you make any friends in your classes? How about on your floor?” They will probably follow it up with the classic “These are the friends you’ll have for the rest of your life, you know!” Try not to be too embarrassed; they just want their baby to be a social butterfly. It’s a nagging bred from love.

2. You could get sick at any moment because there are GERMS.  EVERYWHERE.

The library? Did you mean the cesspool for influenza? Everywhere you look, someone is sniffling, coughing, or blowing their nose and then touching the door handle you’re about to use.

3. You’re either napping, or thinking about the next time you can take a nap.

Maybe in high school you could wake up at the crack of dawn, sit through six hours of classes, two hours of lacrosse practice and then come home to do two more hours of homework, but that was then. Now, you can barely make it through one class without falling asleep, only to get back to your room and try to squeeze in a nap before the next class you’ll fall asleep in.

4. Even with all the naps, you’re tired, so you get worked up very easily…

The struggle is real. Suddenly, any minor inconvenience is extremely stressful. The Wi-Fi cuts out, you have to read a few more pages than you thought or the dining hall doesn’t have grilled cheese. It’s exasperating. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but isn’t it though?

5. … which may lead to some water works every now and then.

Sometimes you just have to let it out. No shame, girl! Get your cry face on; we’ve all been there.

6. You crave snacks and basic, home-style foods all the time.

Every day as a child I wanted nothing more than a big ‘ole bowl of mac and cheese. I don’t care how refined you think your palette is, if someone offers you some Panera mac, you’re gonna want it. Maybe your will-power is stronger than mine and you won’t eat it. But you’ll think about it.

7. Without warning, you will start to miss your parents and your house (Cue potential waterworks if it’s been a particularly rough day!).

A dog on the street could trigger it, a movie you used to watch with your family or any number of other things. It’ll hit you, and it’ll hit you like a sack of bricks. Homesickness is the sneakiest illness of them all.

8. Money is not a luxury you find yourself burdened with.

The word “free” is just about the most enticing thing you’ve ever heard. Your wallet is constantly drained or on the brink of empty. Maybe you’ve got one sad, crumpled, $5 bill in there mixed around with change you never use, but that’s a big maybe. Even if you have that $5 bill, it’s not going to get you that new sweater you want. Stay strong.

9. You make it through one day of classes, only to discover later that you don’t remember anything you just learned.

You might have been fully immersed, paying attention and taking notes, but then you open up that textbook and go to do your homework, and suddenly it’s gibberish. That forgetful innocence is cute when you’re actually a kid. Not so cute when you have an exam next week though.

10. And, finally, you’re always on the lookout for free food—especially if it’s dessert.

No money and almost no standard for the quality of food you consume anymore is a dangerous game. Free cookies in the quad? You’re going. Could be the longest line of all time, and it doesn’t matter because they’re free cookies for goodness sake. That’s like winning the college/kindergarten lottery.

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