Ladies, we must admit something most of us are guilty of. In fact, I can say with complete confidence that I have yet to meet a woman who hasn’t done this at one point in her life. What am I referring to? Well, apologizing, of course. You may be thinking that this is a good thing to do, and in some cases, you’re right. The ability to apologize is, obviously, a very good one if and when an apology from you is merited. However, more often than not, us women find ourselves apologizing for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I do it constantly! For example, here are a few instances in the last week when I apologized for no reason! First, one day when I was going to get off of the elevator; the doors opened and a man was standing there, waiting to get on. Instead of saying “excuse me,” my immediate reaction was, “I’m sorry,” as I walked around him. What was I apologzing for? For getting off of the elevator so that he could get on? If anything, he should have apologized to me for not giving me the space necessary to step off, but that’s not how our minds are wired. Another instance, I was in my self-defense class (yes, it’s awesome and every woman should take a course at one point in her life!) and if I either hit the instructor too hard or not hard enough, I would apologize. Why? Again, there was no good reason. I was apologizing for learning what he was teaching. And despite him repeating the words “don’t apologize,” I kept apologizing.
I call my girlfriends out constantly when they apologize to me for something they should not be sorry for. And I also ask them to tell me when I do it, because I know I am guilty of this. Even my dad is constantly telling me to stop apologizing. So why do we do it so much? We are aware that we shouldn’t, but it is so engrained in our minds that we should be apologetic when we inconvenience someone else in the slightest, that we must apologize. It’s a result of society’s constructs. You can tell yourself that we live in a world that fosters equality of the genders, but you cannot deny that everything you just read is true. That is because we do not yet live in a world where men and women are equal. We live in a world where men are raised to believe they are faultless and women are raised to believe they are guilty, even when neither is true. This is a problem.
I believe one day, we will be equal to men in all ways and from all perspectives. However, we are most definitely not there yet, and believing we are is detrimental. We will only get to a place of equality when both men and women realize the extent to which the inequality and gender biases exist. So ladies, let’s start with something simple: rewriting our brains’ auto setting to one that does not unnecessarily apologize. Catch yourself and stop yourself from apologizing. Call your girlfriends out and ask them to do the same! It will be beneficial in the long run. It also will not be easy to override your instinct to apologize, but try to make a mental note to stop. Sooner or later, you will stop apologizing. And while you are at it, also make a mental note to stop moving out of the way so that a man can pass by you. He likely has just the same amount of brain power to move out of your way, so let him do it for a change! Stop apologizing and walk your path unapologetically.