Some of my earliest memories include Friends coming on the TV, signaling that it was no longer Nickelodeon but Nick at Nite — and that it was past my bedtime. When it was put on streaming sites like Netflix and HBO Max, I decided to actually watch the hit sitcom, and it instantly became a comfort show for me. As unrealistic as it probably sounds, I thought that the Friends cast would live forever, mainly because I didn’t want to imagine a world without any of the six friends in it. When I got a text from my sister that Matthew Perry had died, you can imagine the utter shock and disbelief I was in.
Matthew Perry, most famously known for his role as Chandler Bing on Friends, was found dead in his Los Angeles home on Saturday, Oct. 28, 2023. He was only 54. According to CNN, Perry was found unresponsive in his home hot tub. While the cause of death is still unknown, officials have indicated that there were no drugs or foul play involved in Perry’s death.
Just before his death, Perry had finished writing and releasing a serious memoir reflecting back on his life and experience with addiction, entitled Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir. The book, published about a year before his death, allowed fans to learn more about the star’s personal life and gain insight on the struggles he faced during his career. A fan spoke to CBS about how Perry helped them learn about addiction, “I think it helped me understand addiction, in a different way than I did before,” Louise Barkhus said, “You just felt like, things were going to be ok for him. And then it just wasn’t.” As Friends is my favorite TV show of all time, I was shocked to learn some of the details and impact of Perry’s addiction on the set of the show. He wrote, “I married Monica and got driven back to the treatment center– at the height of my highest point in “Friends,” the highest point in my career, the iconic moment on the iconic show– in a pickup truck helmed by a sober technician.” He also revealed in the book that he had spent upwards of $7 million trying to get sober and had been to rehab 15 times. He explained that he even had a near-death experience in 2019 when his colon burst as a result of opioid overuse. Perry overcame his addiction in 2021, just before the Friends reunion.
Though most commonly known for his role as Chandler, Perry had other roles in his years of Hollywood fame. He received Primetime Emmy Award nominations for his performances in The West Wing and The Ron Clark Story. He also starred in 17 Again, The Whole Nine Yards, Growing Pains, Three to Tango, and many more. But, he strived to be someone that we remember as more than the roles he portrayed. Perry turned his Malibu mansion home into a sober living facility for men, which he called “Perry House,” in 2013. He later sold the mansion in 2015 for $10.65 million, according to Daily Mail and with the help of addiction specialist Earl Hightower, who aided him in running the business, they searched for smaller and more feasible spaces for a rehab center. In a podcast interview with Tom Power just last year, Perry explained his reasoning for the center, “I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my life but the best thing about me, bar none, is that if an alcoholic or drug addict comes up to me and says ‘Will you help me?’ I will always say ‘Yes, I know how to do that. I will do that for you, even if I can’t always do it for myself,’” Perry also expressed how he hoped this accomplishment, along with others, would follow him after his death, “When I die, I know people will talk about Friends, Friends, Friends. And I’m glad of that, happy that I’ve done some solid work as an actor, as well as given multiple people chances to make fun of my struggles on the world wide web…But when I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if Friends were listed far behind the things I did to try and help other people. I know it won’t happen, but it would be nice.”
Friends fans gathered at the well-known apartment building in the West Village in New York City to pay their respects to the late actor. I had never visited the Friends apartment building despite seeing it so much on my computer or television screen and I thought that now, more than ever, would be a great time to finally make the trip. The apartment building is located on 90 Bedford Street, so any other Pace University students interested in visiting the memorial can either take the 2 or 3 train or the A or C train to get there. The memorial had many bouquets of flowers and different signs that fans created to honor Perry. There was a picture of the skyline with “The One Where We Lost Our Friend” written at the top and different letters written from fans. One of the letters said, “Chandler Bing, you made history in our hearts, forever in our happiest memories.” I wasn’t the only one visiting the memorial that day either. A crowd of people stood by taking pictures of the tributes left by fans and of the famous apartment building. It was a beautiful sight to see, and I’m glad that I was able to have time to go and visit it.
On Friday, Nov 3, Perry was laid to rest at a private funeral ceremony. The funeral was held at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Los Angeles, California. Forest Lawn Memorial Park is closely located to Warner Bros. Studio, where Perry spent many years of his life shooting Friends. Since it was a private funeral, only his family and close friends were in attendance, including Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, and David Schwimmer, his former Friends co-stars. Each cast member has yet to individually speak out about their late co-star but they did however release a joint statement together to People: We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family. There is so much to say, but right now we’re going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss.
Typically when a celebrity passes away, their co-stars or friends are put under significant pressure to post something immediately, which I think isn’t fair. When an ordinary person passes away, you don’t see people telling their friends to post something immediately on Instagram or Twitter. I’m glad that Aniston, Cox, Kudrow, LeBlanc, and Schwimmer are taking the much-needed time to grieve in private before making their grief public. I do know that when and if they decide to post on social media, it will make Perry’s death even more real for me.
From making people laugh with the hilarious Chandler Bing to helping others who have also dealt with addiction, Matthew Perry did the most with his time in this world, but unfortunately that came to an end sooner than expected. As someone who viewed Chandler Bing as a huge comfort character, I still haven’t truly come to terms with Perry’s death. The world lost a friend on Oct. 28 and Perry will be truly missed. However, his legacy will live on forever.