The story of Sarah Everard has brought the cries of women to the streets. Sarah Everard, a 33-year-old from London, England, is the most recent victim of kidnapping and murder. On March 3rd, Everard was left a friend’s house in South East London and was walking home. What makes this story so horrifying is her killer was a member of England’s Metropolitan Police. Sarah did everything women are told to do, wear bright clothing, send your location, stay in the light, among so many other things, yet the system failed her. Society has failed Sarah. When a vigil was held on March 13th, police began arresting, antagonizing, and battling with women at the vigil. The hypocrisy is a cry as police said the vigil was an uncivil disturbance but did not break up large crowds celebrating an English football match the week prior.
Unfortunately, the story of Sarah Everard is not unique. I have the biggest pit in my stomach writing this article, but it needs to be said. 97% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted. 97% let that sink in. While men cry and scream “not all men…” it is only 3% of women who haven’t experienced those situations. While women are actively campaigning, being arrested, and sharing their stories men are silent. Men will continue to be silent because they know how guilty they are. When I asked for help, I was blocked, called crazy, was shamed, and laughed at. When I was sexually harassed no one blinked an eye, instead they all laugh. The system continues to fail. We are told to reach out for help, that we matter, but that all fades when men realize they are perpetuating their system.
Dear all men, it is your place to help women stop acting as if you are an innocent bystander. Women deserve to be safe from your arrogance, toxicity, and your behaviors. When you start caring, even just in the slightest maybe you will feel proud of yourself. In reality, most men are cowards who seek male approval and praise. I know myself and many others are not believed. We do everything we are supposed to, yet speaking up can lead to death and exclusion. Your story is valid. Women should not be only valuable to men when they want them. We are not your rehabilitation center nor your how to be a good guy training of the month. Men, silence speaks so loud, and it makes us all sick.
To everyone who was or is not believed, I believe you. The system fails us every day, and yet we are still here. Keep going everyone, the time for silence is over. We cannot let another life be lost due to violence against women. You are someone, and you will put these men to shame.
Pace University resources:
Peer Advocates Against Sexual Assault (confidential resources) I @paasaatpace I jverrengia@pace.edu
The LGBTQA+ Center @lgbtqanyc | lgbtqacenter@pace.edu
Non-Pace resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline I 1-800-799-7233
National Sexual Assault Hotline I 800-646-4573