So you’ve met the person of your dreams and obsessed is an understatement. Just the mere thought of your S.O. fills your stomach with butterflies and you just can’t get enough. Your phone is buzzing off the hook with cute little messages of endearment. But now, life has gotten in the way. It’s come time to graduate high school and head off to college. Maybe one of you has an opportunity that is far from home, either way, distance is added to the equation and it sucks. Now you have serious decisions to make. Many view long distance as unattainable, a joke, or a set up for disappointment. However, if you’re like me and don’t take your love life lightly, I’m here to tell you that there’s hope. A long distance relationship might be worth a shot and a great addition to that little love story of yours.
I’ve noticed that many people stop pursuing a love interest simply due to the fact that they may not be able to see their partner everyday. I get it. Long distance can make you feel like you’ve set yourself up for major disappointment. You may find yourself constantly wondering if they’re cheating on you, if they’ll stop having feelings for you, or find someone else. “What if” this and “What if” that. Well, let me tell you something about “What if.” In life, you’re going to find that you have options, different pathways, and many decisions to make and take advantage of. To ask yourself, “What if,” does nothing but open your mind to negativity. I’m not saying you should completely avoid the cons but, don’t forget to use “What if,” to weigh the pros too. I bet you haven’t taken the time to consider that your relationship could grow stronger and your/their heart, fonder. You/they may realize they/you are the perfect piece to your/their puzzle.
Ultimately, I find distance to be the test of true love. Can you and your S.O. remain faithful to each other when one of you is not around? Can those feelings of commitment remain even though you are not physically together? Will those romantic efforts continue? I have yet to mention what distance can offer in a relationship, but consider those questions a few things that distance will test in a relationship.
I said “Yes.”
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. He is my high school sweetheart and in all honesty, the distance was his idea. He is a year older than me so when I was a junior, he was a senior. We are both really into fitness and at the time, I was on the dance team and he played football. In high school, we had a battle going with the football team because the athletes never considered dance to be a sport. So, I talked to the coach and convinced him to allow me to conduct a ballet class for the football players so they could really get a feel for what it takes to be a dancer. Watching them suffer while learning the basics of ballet was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and it worked to put an end to that war. My boyfriend and I had bonded over the competiveness and ended up becoming workout partners. I liked him and he had liked me too, but I held back because I felt the odds were in my favor. After senior year, he was headed up north to continue playing football and I felt that he was bound to forget about me on his new journey. It took me by complete surprise when he confronted me about wanting to make things official between us. Of course I said yes but, I challenged it at first.
Here’s What It Takes:
- A long distance relationship will NOT work unless both of you are on the same page. A relationship cannot be one sided. You and your partner must make it a priority to check in and discussion what your wants and needs are from the relationship. What are your goals? What are your expectations?
- Patience. A relationship is not always going to feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. You will argue, disagree, and at times there will be frustrating moments too. You are basically committing to grow with someone. Over time, you’re going to see your partner’s bad habits and support them through dark times. You have to be willing to work it out and stand by them during a rough patch.
- COMMUNICATION IS KEY. If you cannot confront your partner about what bothers you or about things you don’t like, the relationship will not work. You have to build open communication between on another. People are not mind readers, so try your best to be open and honest. This will become a very beneficial asset to your relationship. No secrets. You should not feel paranoid or curious about anything. If that’s the case, then trust is not a factor and the odds are in you favor.
- Keep the romance alive. Plan fun activities to do with your partner when you have the chance to see them, like having a picnic. At the end of the day, it’s about making memories and spending time with someone you enjoy being with.
Look at long distance relationships as a time where you are granted space to work on yourself and your personal goals while knowing that someone, somewhere is rooting for you. We can thank technology advancements for FaceTime and apps like the couple’s app, that make it feel like your special someone is only a phone call away. I took a leap of faith when I decided to commit to a long distance relationship and I can confidently say that I do not regret it. My boyfriend and I are now closer than ever because it gave us no choice but to support and value each other. Distance will test whether your relationship has the potential to make it but, it takes two. If you have found someone that is worth your while and distance is now an added factor, I purely advise that you give this chapter of your love story a shot.