Relationship Advice from that Woman You Hate Who’s Been in a Relationship Forever

I love my boyfriend, I love my boyfriend, I love my boyfriend!!! As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, I love my boyfriend. However, love doesn’t always stay easy especially when it has been going on a while and/or it’s long distance. My boyfriend and I have been going out for over three years and I fall in love with him more and more every day, but each day brings its own set of challenges and adventures for us to tackle together. 

    The most difficult part of being in a long term relationship is trying not to get stuck in the monotony of the familiar. Our favorite activity is eating Taco Bell in front of a screen playing 90 Day Fiance. It has become a regular tradition for us, occurring at least twice a week. Sound familiar? What’s your go-to activity with your lover? At least that is, when the lights are on… ;) We all have that one activity that we go back to repeatedly because it becomes comfortable and reliably enjoyable. Though after a while, I don’t know about you, I crave something more. Double dates, amusement parks, mini-golf, and weekend trips are great ways to add a little Sriracha to your tortilla chip relationship. 

    Another difficult part about being in a long term relationship is the depth at which you’d fall should things go south. Being broken up with after four months is hard enough, but imagine after four years. That would be a difficult heartbreak. Strong women always rise back up eventually, but it’s the time in between the fall and the rise that just really… sucks. When we fall in love over time we give our partners everything and allow them to hold our vulnerabilities in their clasp. It’s scary to consider how we would feel if things were to end after all the time and effort invested in the relationship. Luckily though, chances are your partner feels the same way about their own vulnerabilities. Breakups suck, no matter which end of them you’re on, most people try to avoid them. 

Now putting the challenges aside, let’s talk about some of the best parts of being in a long term relationship! Being in love is awesome…. NO … it’s epic! Having that one person who would cross the Bermuda Triangle just to be by your side makes life that much more enjoyable. When you’re in a long term relationship you have the advantage of time on your side. You’ve had years to get to know this person and every detail about them. You’ve also had the privilege of watching them evolve and grow. Having history together makes the relationship that much stronger. 

Some people operate better in long term relationships. I know I’m one of those people. I value strong relationships be it romantic and platonic. So when I started going out with my boyfriend, I went into it with the mindset that this was someone I could picture myself being happy with for a long time. When things get hard we don’t just quit on each other we talk things out and find creative solutions to our problems. Like the great Will Smith once said, “Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do. The secret is removing divorce as an option. Anybody who gives themselves that option will get a divorce.” I apply the same logic to pre-marriage relationships. If you really love someone and you know that they are good at heart, remove the possibility of a break up for a while. Instilling these practices in your romantic relationships early on will get you in the habit of putting effort into romance, which will carry through into marriage. Don’t listen to those quotes that say true love is easy. Love can be easy, but don’t expect it to always stay easy. Arguably the truest love is the love that can withstand turmoil. 

All in all, enter the realm of love with the intention of it lasting and let your heart do the rest.