With exactly one month left of the spring semester, it is safe to say that everyone is in complete shock that April had crept upon us but we sure are happy it’s moving quickly! Who better to explain our pain and suffering of getting through the rest of the semester than the hilarious and ultimate Wonder Woman; Amy Schumer?! The countdown to May 11th is on every visible binder, sticky note or dry erase board in your room and you are not ashamed of it.
The thought of getting out of your bed to start that tremendous pile of laundry? Pass! Having to write ANOTHER thing on your to-do list, which is more like a to-don’t catalog at this post, causes you to stop and reevaluate your life decisions. You think to yourself, “Why did I even spend $40.00 on this Kate Sade planner again? ”
When you try to get a decent night sleep all semester after attempting an all nighter and what’s that you hear? Oh, just your floor mates blaring music through their walls like it’s Coachella 2016 on a Wednesday night. Totally normal!
The gym!? Hmm… where is that again? Realizing that the only cardio or exercise you have completed within the past month is clicking your snooze button for your morning alarm. I’m sure that burns enough calories, right?
You know what also burns calories? Stressing over that group project you have yet to finish!
When you actually take a break from shopping in the wall-to-wall traffic of Union Square to study for your final exams and become aware that the questions are impossible to figure out. You think to yourself, “These questions might as well be in a foreign language!”
Have you only read the first page of the chapter and started freaking out? Want to know the perfect way to distress? Get all your friends together and mutually complain about your lack of summer plans since you spent all your money eating out in the West Village for brunch instead of at the café! Hey, who needs a new pair of Adidas sneakers, gas for your car or the LipKit by Kylie Jenner anyway? Buzzfeed quizzes all day it is!
Professor: “The questions for the exam will come directly from the review sheet!”
Student: *Opens exam booklet. Observes that no question from the review sheet is on the exam. Cries internally so classmates do not hear*
Every family member you come in contact with until the move out day: “I hear you are doing wonderful in University! Congratulations. Wait, what’s your major again? ”
But, alas! You understand that with only thirty days left, you have survived finals six months prior and came out in one piece! You get in the “I can do anything because I’m awesome” mindset since there is no stopping your academic ability! Hallelujah to education!
The truth is your work is not going to magically finish itself. Seriously, why hasn’t anyone invented an App for that? What are you waiting for! Grab those notebooks and laptops and head to the library. The sooner you study and plan your assignments out for April and May, the sooner you will be able to binge watch all of the Netflix shows you put off!
We are going to demolish our finals! Make the most out of the last few weeks in N.Y.C so when you do arrive home, it can be filled with catching up on some Z’s! I mean, who doesn’t love a home-cooked meal and ice cream on a Friday night? Can I get a Yass Amy!