It’s spring break, you’re with your friends, you’re laughing, and suddenly you realize that you didn’t bring your spring break survival kit. Uh oh. Well, that sucks for you, but lucky for me Her Campus sent us writers one to get us through our break! I’ve gone through and reviewed each item, ranking them from 1-10 on a scale of how useful they are as part of a “Spring Break Survival Kit”. When I think survival kit, I think stranded on a desert island eating possibly poisonous plants and carving “HELP ME” in the sand with sticks, but I think this kit is more for college girls going to their local beach. You can still write “HELP ME” in the sand, but it’s less thrilling when you’re not really in danger.
Okay, let’s see what we’ve got!
Hercampus.com stickers: 2/10
I really enjoy these stickers, because who doesn’t love a good sticker now and then, but I’m not entirely sure how it is going to help me out this spring break? I’m thinking if I can’t find my sleep mask I can just put the stickers on my eyes to block the sun streaming in the room? Or perhaps I can use the stickers to make a path to my car to remember where I’ve parked at the mall? I’ll keep you all updated.
Completely Bare Wax Strips: 3/10
Wax strips. Oh boy, I had quite the adventure with these little fellas. I was at first perplexed by which strip to use for what area – one said face, the other said bikini. One was large and the other small, but neither was labelled. I followed the instructions to warm it up between your hands and then place and rip and… holy hell. I expected pain from waxing but I did not expect the wax to stay on my skin the way that it did. I stared at my face horrified, and I clawed at it desperately with my hands for a good five minutes before attempting to wipe it off with a wet cloth. No go. I vaguely wondered if it would stay with me forever. I pictured future wedding pictures, pregnancy announcements, graduations, etc. all occurring with this parasitic heap of wax on my face. After staying in the shower for 15 minutes and scrubbing with a washcloth and exfoliator, it was all finally just a terrible memory. Three days later, I broke out in the area in a way that I haven’t since I was 13 years old. It was one last act of vengeance by the wax strips. 3/10 instead of 0/10 because I have a weird feeling I didn’t follow the directions 100%…also because it did remove the hair even if it left the wax. Still, I’m pretty convinced this is how they get rid of hair in hell.
Not Your Mother’s Clean Freak Purifying Shampoo & Conditioner: 8/10
This shampoo/conditioner set did what it said it would do, which was…clean my hair in an adequate manner. I hadn’t been rolling in mud or the blood of my enemies or anything, so I feel that it was likely a probably easy task to accomplish, and it did so admirably. It smelt nice, like peppermint, and it didn’t burn when I got it in my eyes, which is always a good thing. It would definitely help me survive spring break if I had no other access to hair washing supplies, because nobody would be my friend anymore after seeing my unshowered-for-a week hair. Mostly I was excited because I now possess enough of these little bottles that I won’t have to buy any more shampoo or conditioner until I graduate. A penny saved, friends.
Her Campus Sunglasses: 9/10
Sunglasses! Fabulous. These seem incredibly useful. I stepped outside and put them on, and the world was satisfactorily darker and shaded. Mission accomplished. If I choose to subject myself to being in the sun during this spring break, I will indeed remember to protect my eyes from its angry rays. And then I will probably accidentally lose them while leaning over a pier at the ocean or something because I can’t keep sunglasses for more than a week. But what a lovely week it will be. I look forward to it.
Campus Safety Pepper Gel: 10/10
Pepper gel. That’s right, not pepper spray, but pepper gel. It’s the same thing. There is a UV marking dye, which is pretty cool, but I hope that I never have to actually use it. I’ve given it 10/10 because it seems to be the most useful thing to put in a survival kit, and also because the tagline is “Making Grown Men Cry Since 1975!” I love that it says maximum strength…are there strength levels of pepper spray? If you’re being attacked I’m assuming you want maximum strength. Can you imagine spraying someone with a mild strength pepper spray? Would it just make their eyes vaguely water like they’ve just cut an onion? Would moderate make them cry a little like when you watch one of those commercials about abused dogs? The world may never know, but I do know that if I had to take one thing from this kit with me anywhere it would be this pepper gel. Pepper spray. Whatever.
Her Campus Pen: 10/10
I’m a huge fan of pens, and this one is superb. The ink comes out smooth, the design is cute, and I didn’t have to pay for it. I don’t ask for much more in life. I’ve only used it for a week, but it feels like I had it for a lifetime, and I already mourn the day when I lend it to a friend in class and forget to get it back. This will help you survive spring break by allowing you to sign receipts and write in a journal, or something. I don’t know. I just really like pens.
There were mini Luna bars too, which I promptly ate before being able to photograph them. 10/10 for those, though. Food is essential to survival, and Luna Bars are essential to college girls. Well done, Her Campus. Thanks for all the fun stuff, I’m going to hang all 8 of the pepper gel canisters I own from individual hooks on the wall in various places in my room to freak people out. Happy spring break, y’all! Don’t end up lost on an island somewhere! (But if you do, do the “HELP ME” thing with the stick and the sand. It’s classic.)