Now I have never been much into team sports (or sports in general, although be warned any bothersome boys at crewdates to come, I have just taken up, and really taken to, boxing). Having spent my formative years in an all girls school I found that the thing most exercised in these team sports, be it netball or hockey, was always a sharp tongue, accompanied in the latter case with a hard stick too. Sports, I assumed, was just b*tching whilst running.
Out of the confines of the all-girls school I discovered the joys of boys and dating. Before I came up to Oxford I looked forward, with trepidation, to the brave new world of crewdating: the combination of my favourite and least favourite activities brought together with copious amounts of alcohol and curry. What could possibly go wrong?
The truth is nothing, if you treat it like that big game.
- Research your opponents. You want to make sure that you’re sitting next to the hottie/heir/hotshot. The website crewdater.com is the perfect way to check out the team and read reviews of previous dates etc.
- Physically prepare yourself in the hours before the game. Athletes have a banana, I suggest you have a stiff one (drink I mean). Turning up to a crewdate stone cold sober is the worst thing you could possibly do. I can guarantee you that all your dreams of the dreaming spires will be crushed: you thought that you’d be amongst the brightest young things in the country right? Well be prepared to see some of the stupidest things you’ll ever see.
- Pace yourself. Remember that crewdating is a marathon not a sprint, you don’t want to be that person who is stretchered off before the papadums hit the table.
- Work as a team. You may be the aforementioned bright young things at one of the most highly regarded universities in the world, but to survive a crewdate you’ll need to revert back to your most basic instincts and adopt a pack mentality. Yes, you may be there to bring home the meat, but never has it been more important to keep in mind the age-old saying: chicks before, well, you know…
- Finally, remember, it’s not all about scoring, and if you don’t, there’s no shame in going home empty handed. Remember that everyone else will remember your crewdate conquests, despite the excessive amounts of alcohol, so make sure it’s worthwhile. There’s no harm in not winning a friendly, if you go on to win the big one…
Crewdates are crude, messy, stupid and downright embarrassing, but usually pretty damn good fun too. Relax and remember that crewdates have been set up to help you make new friends, I think. Everyone says that the friends you make at university will be your friends for life; the guys you meet may not be in your life for long, but the memories you make – if you remember them – will be the source of laughs for you and your girlfriends for years. As you’ll find, like I did, that crewdating is the sport where girls bond with girls and b*tch about the boys.