With the crisp November air and Starbucks winter menu upon us, it’s safe to say that the holiday season has officially begun. And while there are many, many amazing things about this time of year, nothing can put a damper on the mood quite like a long, embarrassing conversation with Great-Aunt Patty.
Every family has one or two extended-family members that mean oh-so-well, but somehow always make things awkward. After all, they only see us a few times a year, and our lives change so much within that span that it’s hard to keep up. You can’t possibly blame them. Still, it doesn’t make being on the receiving end any easier.
As you finish up those exams and pack your suitcase for home (or wherever your winter break takes you), do yourself a favor and give this list a look, so you can be ready for any curveball your family throws at you.
“Is there anybody ~special~ in your life right now?”
Of all the embarrassing things on this list, this one without a doubt is the most asked. For some reason, extended family is always dying to know all the juicy details of your relationship status, and there’s always a disapproving glance that goes with the most common reply. All you can do is take their criticism and hope that you’ll have a “better” answer for them next year.
“What do you think of [insert controversial political figure/reform here].”
The most dreaded conversation of all– politics, always manages to bubble its way to the surface. And more often than not, it happens when everyone’s riled up from too many drinks and have lost any sense of their filter. Even though the challenge seems to be to change someone’s mind, the real test is often remaining composed.
“Is that how you’re going to dinner?”
I would go out on a limb and say that most ladies have gotten this one before. Whether it’s a v-neck dress deemed “too short” or “too revealing” or “too much” or “too little” makeup, our family often has no problem in trying to shame us into looking a certain way, so as not to “scandalize” our elderly relatives. Even though we shouldn’t have to, I would say it’s always better to air on the safe side here, just to avoid this kind of embarrassing confrontation.
“Why aren’t you majoring in something useful?”
As a creative writing and theatre major, I almost always get this question or one of its variants. People try to convince me that I’ll never be “successful” unless I change my major. To that, I ask them how they define success because “to me, it sounds like you value the wage over my eventual happiness.” That usually works.
“I didn’t go to college, and I turned out just fine.”
The eternally frustrating “back in my day”, comment. Relatives who refuse to recognize that the world has changed in the last fifty years are my favorites. In today’s competitive job market, a college degree and internship experience are nearly always necessary to be hired. It may have been different for you, Grandpa, but the times have changed.
“Are you reallyhungry for that second plate?” Or, alternatively, “You look like you haven’t eaten in months!”
In my family, we refer to this as “food-pushing.” Regardless of which way the “push” comes from, it is not pleasant. Just stick to your guns. If you want seconds, it’s the holidays, and perfectly acceptable. And if you didn’t even finish your first plate, that’s okay too. You are the boss of your own body.
“So, what are you gonna do with your life?”
And, finally, the most frustrating question of all. Even if you know your major, figuring out what your plan is for life can take months or years, and the flexibility of Oxford College isn’t exactly pushing you to make a decision, which makes a question like this very annoying. It’s okay not to know. If you reallywant to get those nosy relatives away, turn this question on them. Of course, this is only if you want to burn bridges. I wouldn’t normally recommend it, but if a relative is maliciously asking you this question, you have every right.
Family gatherings may prove to be the most difficult part of the holiday season, but there are plenty of other positive things to focus on to help get you through the tough parts, like family members you dolike, beautiful weather, good food, pets from home, no homework, cheery music, beautiful decorations… the list goes on and on.
So enjoy every minute, even the awkward ones, because soon enough, we’ll all be back under a mound of homework, wanting nothing more than another break.