Many things have changed after I entered college. When I look back at high school, everything seemed to have been easier, simpler, and just better. There were less assignments to complete, less drama to deal with, and more time for fun and games. Things only looked brighter, but I guess many things are bound to differ. In fact, I can say that many things had changed already.
The word “friend” was always there in our lives, right from the start; the first people in your life who said hello to you, the first people who gave you their attention, their love, and their time to you. But now, they all seem to have shifted away, each with their own goals in life and careers to pursue. Some joined clubs, some met new people and others just faded out of your memories. I stand here blankly, remembering the past with you. In this crowd of people, I know that you are there somewhere, and if I can just reach out my fingers, I could touch you, yet you are too far away. Different schedules created the gap between us, and it’s only getting bigger, filled up with our new friends, interests and dreams.
Learning started to become a difficult task as well. The old equations commemorated as one plus one. Information collected together like a sea of clouds as if I were heading towards a thunderstorm, destined to strike me. I was thrown off balance, knocked down to the corner, and left to sit alone in the dark. With voices of laughter overhead, mocking tones and awful glances everywhere, I wished I could have smashed right through the glass and jumped right off. Yet, I didn’t. I didn’t know if I was too petrified, or if I would have never made it anyways.
As I take my mind off the negativity around me, I see that it wasn’t as scary as it seemed before. I came to a realization that the world wasn’t set up to crush me, but to let me go through the stages of life. Maybe it was my head, or maybe it was my heart, trying to stop time from flowing and holding on to the past. I didn’t want to leave the past, but when I come to think about what’s left of it, what is there to hold on to? The sweet nostalgic childhood had become a black void that continues to suck the happiness out of me. To forget was tough and unbearable, yet that’s all I needed to do; to focus on the future and work my way towards a better life.
I’m only letting my friendship slip away because I’m not doing anything about it. I’m only letting my grades fall because I didn’t try hard enough. Instead of frozen in time to remorse over the things I had done, I should be moving forward to reach the light, to reach the ever-changing velocity of life. I shouldn’t be troubled by the changes around me because all I needed to do was to look forward again and…
Simply step over the hurdle.