“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life throws a lot of impasses and is full of tragedies. That’s what makes life so wonderful. The old cheesy saying is repeated decade after decade for a reason. When things are solely good, we start to lose appreciation and become too comfortable with staying in our corner in life. That is why the phenomenon that Robert Frost mentions, “nothing gold can stay”, is necessary. If humans were ever satisfied, society would be in complete homeostasis. When the milk turns sour, the trees lose all their fruit, and one feels subjected to coalesce with the shadows, one has a choice. Perhaps there are some things that one has no decision in, however, the most powerful possessions one can have are positivity, confidence, risk-taking, and resilience and one can choose to develop these valuable traits, or they can choose to remain as one with the shadows. The choice is all in the individual. Sounds easier said than done? Nothing good ever came without hard work. It is only when people realize the value of these traits when they can change Robert Frost’s “nothing gold can stay” to “some gold can stay,”
As famous inventor Thomas Edison had said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Though his quotation is hotwired via bulletin boards to the brains of any person who went through the American education system, Edison’s advice still holds true. There is a reason why one’s favorite inventors and authors are so famous. It is all in their resilience. Thomas Edison could have stopped innovating when his inventions did not work how he planned them to. Agatha Christie could have given up when publishing companies Hodder and Stoughton and Methuen had originally rejected her manuscript for The Mysterious Affair at Styles. Walt Disney could have scrapped the idea Mickey Mouse when bankers had dismissed and jeered at his idea 300 times, or when he was fired for “lacking creativity.” However, if they did, the development of the incandescent light bulb or the kinetoscope would be incomplete, and there would be no Hercule Poirot or Mickey Mouse. While celebrities like Walt Disney may appear “lucky” and their successes may look like “miracles,” this is not the case. The confidence that they had in their work and their skills is what propelled them to reach their ideals. Nevertheless, one may ponder how these figures were able to combat rejection and not have it impact their confidence. Agatha Christie was no superhuman. Rejection hurts and is an equal opportunist. Life is not easy for anyone, and everyone goes through their own fair share of it on top of “rejections from life”, or tragedies. No matter the circumstances one is given at a certain time, no one is above anyone else. Success comes from within, not from what one is handed.
The Wheel of Fortune changes any given day, but the only fortune that can stay is the confidence one has in oneself and the optimism for a better tomorrow. Comparing another’s successes to one’s own is a silly concept, because the fortune one has today could have been absent for a long time, or can be snatched at an instant tomorrow. From one’s self-confidence and faith in life, one can take risks with ease, which can either end in disaster or a dream come true. The most important thing to realize is that rejection is a friend. Rejection is the friend that starts out as a mortal enemy, but becomes one’s best friend the more one gets to know him. While rejection appears to be the canceller of all plans, or that mean bully from middle school that pokes at all your insecurities, rejection in fact has a soft inside and has one’s best interest. One needs to simmer in rejection. It may feel quite the contrary at first, but the more rejection is inflicted upon one, the more confidence one will have, which will foster a sense of resilience. Rejection not only guides one to figure out what one wants in life, but it develops oneself on a spiritual level, hence the confidence one shall develop. Learning to love oneself and to realize the “box of chocolates” one is given, while using the confidence from that to strive for goals, is key to resilience, and therefore, success. As the Zen proverb goes, “The obstacle is the path.” Yes, the obstacles and dismissals that will come one’s way will be painful. There will be many times when one will feel small, and one should encourage oneself to rest and take a break in between so one can recover and reestablish one’s personal value so one can push forward. It is also key to remember that it is when one decides to nurture oneself, removing any toxic or toxic-invoking experiences from their life so that they are able to focus on one’s own value, marching at the beat of their own drum, and trusting their instincts, that one is able to think positively and build resilience.
Always be yourself, because while participating in a play may be fun, making life into a play where you are pretending to be someone you are not and molding oneself with a cookie cutter into someone who strives for another’s successes and follows another’s expectations is no game. As the famous Persian poet Rumi once said, “Don’t let others lead you. They may be blind or, worse, vultures,” and as Walt Whitman had said in Leaves of Grass, “The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.” No one wants to watch a play where each verse is the same. Fear not of the expression of yourself and doing what you want to. Do not let difficulties stop you, for it is all superficial. Most importantly, when you feel like quitting, that is when you should try the most, for all the hard work one has already made should not be mocked in destruction. Only then can one achieve a static level of happiness and success, with some bumps on the way. There is power in the individual.
“I will sleep no more but arise, You oceans that have been calm within me! how I feel you, fathomless, stirring, preparing unprecedented waves and storms.”
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass