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Sex + Relationships

The Chances of Running into Your Ex

Some people tell me that their schools had math classes that would teach just practical math skills they’d need to know in life, such as paying taxes and balancing checks and so forth, that would be useful for them. I have yet to hear of any such math course giving people one useful piece of information, though—the equation of probability of having an awkward run-in with your ex or not. In statistics courses, when the section of probability comes about, you’d hope they’d teach you something useful, like the chances of running into an ex, but unfortunately that’s not in the curriculum, and I’m here to remedy that problem. Here are the key factors to plug in—the population density, the theme of the event, interests of the ex, interests of the friends of the ex, location of the event, and relative living area of the ex. If you know any people in his classes, be a little friendly to them so that you can find out the times there are tests or essays in the class. Having an insider is always helpful—this is why we have spies, so as to get information we want to know and see what’s coming our way. In this case though, the spy is the unknowing classmate of the ex and the disaster you’re trying to see coming your way is your ex. If you are friends with a classmate in his class, you will better be able to calculate if the ex is likely to be out around a certain time or not, when you’re thinking about going out.

(((interests of x + interests of friends of x)/Theme of event)^1/PD (i.e. population density)) + location of event – relative living area of x

If you have access to a portion of his schedule by an insider in his class, you will know when he most likely won’t be out at an event, such as during class times, so this equation would be rendered useless in the case of that event. Having a history of interactions with a person also makes predicting where he will be a little easier at those times you want to avoid him. For instance, the chances are that the longer you’ve known him, the better you know his preferred studying spots, whether it be locked away from the world in his room, sitting at a café, lounging in the library, or what have you. There is a phrase that goes, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” The reasoning behind this is that if you’re friends with someone you don’t like or trust, you hang out with that person more so as to know him/her better and will be made more aware of what he/she is planning or thinking. This is a fitting phrase for this context. I’m not saying to avoid places you want to be or events you want to go to just because of a possible encounter with your ex, but I’m saying that if you don’t want to see your ex at an event or some place, perhaps keep these factors in mind.

Student at Emory University, Student Instructor for Poli Sci, Founding Staff Writer for Emory Political Review, Staff Writer for HerCampus
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