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Why Do I Dare Question Myself? — A Poem

The world is cruel,

breaking us down,

until we decide we are done and

allow ourselves to be beaten senseless.

 

I stand against it.

I fight back.

I refuse to let the world rule my life

or ruin me.

 

Why then,

is it so easy for me

to slip under the grip 

of my anxiety?

 

I let it clamp its cold hands

around my neck,

to silence my voice and

keep me from breathing.

 

Why then,

can I let its words sink in

underneath my skin, into my veins

until I am drowning within myself?

 

I know I am strong.

I know my worth.

Why then do I waver?

Why do I dare question myself?

 

Maybe life got in after all,

no matter how many cracks I thought I sealed.

It only takes one broken place

to make a ruin out of me.

 

Allyson is currently pursuing a Bachelor's degree at SUNY Oswego, and is a double major in English and Broadcasting with a minor in Spanish. She is the CC of her college's chapter of Her Campus, as well as the Secretary of the Women's Club Ice Hockey team. She hopes to one day become an author of fiction novels and collections of poetry. When she is not writing or on the ice she enjoys spending her time reading, hiking, and watching anime.
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