We are once again entering that oh so wonderful time of rush. There will be tables of sororities and fraternities lining the halls as you try to get to class, random numbers texting you off some list that they were handed when you signed a paper after being cornered at the involvement fair, and a lot of parties you can weasel your way into if you are willing to act interested. The best time period, tbh.
Now, some of you may be considering joining a sorority (or fraternity, but I can only give advice on one). Before you embark on this journey, I have some things that I think you may want to seriously consider.
Before we get any further, be honest with yourself about your mental health and whether or not it’s doing well. If you are even the littlest bit shaky, I wouldn’t go through with it. It may be that you have found some wonderful girls and you want it more than anything, but it adds to your burden. No matter what you do, no matter who you join, there will be more on your plate. If I’m being honest with myself, I joined at a time when my mental health wasn’t doing so well and I deeply regret that. It’s not that I didn’t like the people or didn’t want to be a part of it, it wasn’t even so much that it was too much for me, it just wasn’t a good time. Don’t add to your burden for greek life. It won’t be so kind in return.
If you passed the first test, reassess your bank account. Even the cheapest sorority is going to cost you money, even during pledging. Be aware of the fact that you will owe this money every semester, no matter what your situation is. Yes, there will likely be people who will work with you if you are in desperate need but if you are proud or just barely able to do it, you may not receive said help. Don’t empty your wallet on this. There are some amazing opportunities out there that could work out better.
The third and final test is pretty simple. Please make sure you love the sorority you are joining. There are way too many options on campus for you to end up in one where you feel uncomfortable around the girls and feel like you don’t belong. Choose wisely and get to know all of them.
Now, if you are financially and mentally stable and have found your new sisters, I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t go through with it. However, I do have some things you should keep in mind.
- When we say that joining is a process, believe us. You’ll be fine, everything is carefully done so that you don’t have to worry about anything bad happening, but you will find that it’s a test. It’s just to teach you history. Remember to breathe.
- You may pick the sorority based on the girls who are already in but you have no control over those who come after you. Sororities change over time. You won’t get along with everyone, not even when you join, but do understand that others will later join. Just because it’s a sisterhood doesn’t mean you have to like everyone, just that you should at least be nice.
- Remember that alumni may be old ladies, but they were once sorority girls themselves. They did this at a time when there were way less rules and a larger portion of people on campus were in a sorority. They will be a great source of support but they know how to work the system and thrive from the exact same drama you and your sisters are going through.
- Joining with your friends sounds fun but isn’t recommended. Most of the time I’m sure it would work out but you’ll likely end up going down different paths. This is especially true if this is a friend from high school (please let them go, there are better people for you).
- You’re going to be made to feel inadequate. It’s just how it works when you’ve got thirty something girls fighting over a few positions and not everyone gets along. Remember you are more than one organization.
- You better love drama. It will be there no matter what, even if you don’t think you are doing anything. It just kind of happens.
- There is a hierarchy and you will never break out of it. People win this by fighting dirty, so if that’s what you want then you will get the world out of this experience. I am not that kind of person so I can tell you that it’s not fun at all.
Now that you’ve read through all my warnings, I hope you are certain about your decision. Whatever it may be. Keep in mind that no matter what you pick, you will find some wonderful forever friends in college. Don’t limit yourself just to join some glorified club with a drinking permit.