If I put it quite frankly, I am not keeping it all together. However, I’m starting to realize that not keeping it all together at times is okay. I know I probably shouldn’t be so transparent on the internet with my struggles, but honestly, if this can help anyone out there then I think it’s worth it. College at its core is not meant to be easy. It’s supposed to test you and prepare you for the adult world. Sometimes you think that the only things that you have to worry about are your classes and your grades but when other things happen that affect you, it really brings to light how much you have on your plate.
This semester has been one of growth for me. It’s been one full of anxiety, self-identity struggles, and honestly one full of change. The grand finale came with me getting dumped a week before finals. It was an understandable thing and I still value the person but in terms of my own life, it’s been a bit difficult. I never thought I would be okay being so vulnerable on this medium to you but this is something that is part of the womanly experience I guess. Change is something that I feel like I personally struggle with so much. It is natural to comfort yourself with the things that you know and understand, but when they change, especially so suddenly, it can come as a shock to your mind. Here are some of the things that have been helping me cope.
The first thing that I’ve learned is you have to allow yourself to feel negative feelings sometimes and it is okay to visibly not be okay. I think I’ve always put so much pressure on myself to be this “put-together” person but there is nothing wrong with having an off day. You just have to pay attention to not allowing a couple of off days to turn into a more downward spiral. Actually sitting and sulking for a bit, crying it all out, and leaning into my comfort activities all have helped me cope and comprehend my feelings. Especially during a breakup, you tend to grieve the person and the relationship you had so this is all part of the healing process.
The next thing that I’ve learned is that you cannot keep it all in, you have to reach out for help. If there’s anything this experience has taught me, it’s that the best refuge is found in the people around you that love you. My friends have honestly been my rock these past couple of days and they’ve gotten me out of bed and out of my room. It’s been really helpful to just go out with them and laugh a bit about life in a way that doesn’t take it too seriously. Life happens and if you take it so seriously all the time, you’ll add unnecessary pressure onto yourself when you’re already doing so much. Talking things out with friends and just being around them is a healthy way to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is the top priority.
That’s the last piece of advice I can give you; take care of yourself. At the end of the day, you need to take care of the one thing you truly have in life, and that is yourself. I feel like I’ve gotten so wrapped up in the many things that have happened this semester that I haven’t really taken the time to sit down and reflect on what I truly need. It takes time and hard work to commit to treating yourself in the way you deserve but it is possible. That is what the art of keeping yourself together is all about; understanding that it changes on a daily basis and that is okay. Instead of dreading the amount of time it takes to improve yourself, relish in the ability to even do that. The art of keeping yourself together is not keeping it together all the time, but being able to pick up the pieces when you fail.