*Full disclaimer, dating an Asian male will be different for everyone*
There are many Asian cultures, so no one experience will be the same. In this context, my boyfriend is more specifically Asian-American, so his upbringing favors his Asian (Vietnamese) roots and his individualistic qualities favor more Americanized themes. However, the premise of this article will be to explore some popular stereotypes within the Asian archetype.
In my personal experience in dating a Vietnamese guy, I see the very general characteristics of what dating an Asian guy is like concurring with media and popular culture. AND NO THEY ARE NOT ALL SMALL IN ANY FORM!!!
Family Oriented:
My boyfriend is heavily family oriented. In our time together, he’s gone to church with his family every Saturday night or Sunday morning and sat at the dinner table with them every night. Family is key when dating an Asian guy, and being in the good graces of his parents, specifically, his mother is something to aim for. Asian parents are very traditional, the opposite of this is parents that are more open-minded and relinquish a lot of their influence over their children. Fortunately, my boyfriend has parents that fall into both of these ideals. He is allowed to have tattoos, piercings and to date outside his race. However, his parents still enforce traditional customs like sleeping in separate rooms.
Dating:
Dating an Asian guy comes with a lot of good qualities that affirm a healthy relationship. I say that to mean that in dating my Vietnamese boyfriend I tend to be a priority to him. On more than a handful of occasions, he has surprised me with thoughtful gifts on top of treating me to dinner. I’m taken care of. That is not for lack of taking care of him as well. A relationship is a partnership, so we both bring positive characteristics to the table. Dating in the Asian community warrants a lot of gift giving; showing adoration through materialistic value but also attentiveness.
Mindfulness:
His mindfulness is something that weakens me, simply because it’s foreign to me to have someone remember what I wore Halloween night or my favorite Disney movie. This is a stereotype I’ve heard of and that has been reaffirmed for me. The care he gives to me baffles me so much. I get reminded to eat well and sleep early on a daily basis. Given the time difference, my day starts before his, and a morning text usually goes like, ‘good morning, hope you slept well, have you eaten?’ This is seemingly customary in Asian culture. I’m reminded to eat and do well in school nearly every day, and it motivates me to want to make him proud, almost to uphold his faith in me.