Some of My Worst Going Out Stories (And How to Avoid My Mistakes)

*We do not condone underage drinking! If you’re planning on drinking please be safe and responsible. These stories are for entertainment purposes and tips to avoid these struggles only.

To put it bluntly, the college experience isn’t truly complete without a couple of stupid nights out. Although it’s totally possible to have a fun night in the company of your friends, it’s honestly more likely that something will go horribly wrong, resulting in a horror story for you to tell four years later. Here are some of my worst going out moments, along with my tips on how to avoid a similar story:

 

The night we couldn’t find a way home

Many of my worst moments occurred throughout my freshman year of college when I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I also thought frat parties were fun, which should tell you a lot about the type of person I was. For my first Halloweekend at college, my friends and I attended a frat 20 minutes from campus in matching cat costumes… yeah. At the end of the night, when they began kicking all of us out, all of the drunk freshmen piled onto their lawn, nervously calling the D-Bus since the house was insanely far away from campus. Since it was Halloweekend, however, they were swamped, and no one was picking up or making a stop at the frat party. After an hour of this, we finally decided to walk home, which took close to an hour. Someone cried, someone peed on the side of the road, and I panicked because I was sure we were lost.

How to avoid this: First off, don’t go to a party far away from campus. Like, ever. There’s absolutely no point and it’s not half as fun anyway. Secondly, when it’s Halloweekend, you should know that it’s gonna be super crowded anywhere you go, so it’s gonna be tough getting home. Be prepared to either walk home or go out with a sober designated driver that will take you to and from the party.

 

The night I had to carry someone out of a party

This isn’t something that I did, but I was still part of the situation, therefore I’ll use their story as a lesson for you. Oddly enough, this is another Halloweekend story -- the following year, I went out with someone that was ready to binge drink all night and did just that. Except they didn’t eat anything for dinner. Like… anything. Whatsoever. So the night ended with my friends and I carrying them out after they puked and passed out in the middle of the party. They only continued puking on the walk home, then proceeded to throw up some more even after we got them home.

How to avoid this: This should be a given, but if you’re planning to drink a ton, that means you should probably coat your stomach. Eat a substantial dinner prior to drinking so you don’t die. That’s literally all you have to do. Binge drinking is never good for you and there will never be anything you can do to avoid a hangover (and, depending on who you are, you might puke regardless), but at the very least, do yourself the favor of eating before going out.

 

The many nights someone got too drunk at the pre-game and we still went out

This has happened far too many times to count, but it’s a lesson everyone should learn and enforce at some point. There was one night where I drank way too much at the pre-game but figured I was fine anyway -- wrong. I browned out at the party and fell down a ton of stairs, drunk texted every ex of my mine, and, of course, cried on the way home. To make things even better, it was a Thursday, which meant I had to get up and head to class the next morning, where I’m pretty sure I was still drunk. You could probably smell the vodka off of me.

How to avoid this: If you or one of your friends drinks too much at the pre-game, be a good person and make them stay home. Yeah, it’s probably really funny to go out anyway but there are a hundred possible consequences -- you could get kicked out of the bar for being stupidly drunk, you could puke, blackout, pass out, or just straight up have an awful time. It’s not worth it.

 

As the mom friend, I encourage you to be smart when you go out. If you’re making the decision to binge drink, make sure to eat enough, drink water, and go out with friends that will make sure you’re okay. Never go to a party far away from campus with no way home, and, above anything, just don’t be stupid.