Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

Our Deal Breakers


What are your deal breakers when it comes to people you want to date? You know, the things that really matter to you. Maybe it’s someone’s religion, or political affiliation. For me it’s whether or not they like the Toy Story trilogy and the Paranormal Activity movies. And I have stopped talking to guys because they scoffed at Toy Story 3 and told me that Paranormal Activity 3 was bullsh**. Maybe I missed out on awesome relationships with awesome guys. But whatever. If you can’t binge on seasons 1-3 of The Office then please, get out of my bedroom.


One day my BFF and I were discussing what are deal breakers are. Of course, hers were a bit more logical and sane than mine- but we each had our “things.” Then she brought up this TV show- Tough Love. According to the matchmaker on this show, ladies tend to have too many deal breakers, and these deal breakers are what create spinsters and and the reason women die alone.

So (as per usual) I started to freak out and totally overreact about my deal breakers. I started to think a little too critically about why I stopped talking to this guy, or had a sh*tty time on a date with this other guy, and blah blah blah, whatever.


What if I kept talking to that guy I met in my astronomy class? Could I be engaged to be married? No! I had to stop talking to him because he didn’t give Mad Men a chance. What about that guy that I met at the bar that one night, who really liked Peep Show but thought Kurt Vonnegut was overrated? What could have happened if I just gave that one man a shot even though he said Beyoncé isn’t a feminist because she dresses in a way that men find sexy? Would I have dropped out of college because I received my MR.S?




My BFF and I had this conversation two years ago. TWO YEARS AGO! And I have dwelled on my crazy number of deal breakers since that time. How ridiculous is that? That I have dwelled on it, but not actually changed anything about it? I’ve continued to stop seeing guys, or even just stop talking to guys because they hate things I love. Why wouldn’t I just… I don’t know, get over my deal breakers?


Well, because that’s settling.


I spoke to another friend of mine about my deal breakers one day. He’s been in a long term relationship for the past five years. When I was b*tching about my deal breakers, and my “oh, I’m going to die alone” crap, he asked me if I really thought that all couples weren’t settling. He clarified for me that many of them are. Because they wrote off their deal breakers.




No. I still had it wrong. Sure, deal breakers are great. But it’s okay to hang with someone who isn’t in love with all of the same stuff you are. I mean, yeah you should totally share similar interests- but just because they aren’t into the extended Twin Peaks Pilot doesn’t mean you won’t have an awesome time with this person. They’ll teach you things! Just because they don’t know all the words to “Crazy In Love” doesn’t mean you won’t fall for them. Because maybe they’re into some cool stuff themselves that you had never been exposed to before. Maybe they have a weird obsession with maps and they can teach you how to read one. Or something like that. I don’t know. But you get it.


This doesn’t mean you have to change what you’re into or adapt new interests in order to find a ~~~sIgNifIcAnT oThEr~~~. All I’m asking is for us all to be a bit more open-minded about everybody and to try and learn something new and exciting and wonderful.


For the record, I don’t like the Twin Peaks Pilot that much. 

Similar Reads👯‍♀️