How Lorde Helped Me Get Over a Breakup

While I have referred to Ella Yelich-O’Connor as my “Lorde and savior” an obnoxious amount of times in the past (and will only continue to do so as long as I live), I never quite imagined JUST HOW blessed I would be after seeing her in concert. It had been just two days after my breakup that I decided to go on a road trip with my also newly single friends to go see our favorite pop star, New Zealand singer/songwriter Lorde, in Toronto, Canada. We made the most of the trip and listened to Lorde’s albums, Pure Heroine and Melodrama, for most of the car ride up, which was obviously nothing compared to listening to them live in concert later that night.

While there were numerous parts of the concert that shook the living souls of my friends and I, the one part of the concert that really resonated with me personally was Lorde’s introduction to her song “Writer in the Dark.” The artist expressed on how valuable it is to be yourself, as she stated, “Life is short, you can be a hopeless romantic…you can be whatever you want to be…you can be a writer…”

While I am indeed a writer, I am not going to let anyone rue the day they’ve kissed me in the dark…at least not in this article. However, rather than focus on any of my exes and why past relationships did not work out, I am going to more importantly focus on myself and how I am getting over my most recent break up.


Just doing things I enjoy again, such as writing, has reminded me what I really value in life and what I really want to focus my energy on right now. Besides writing, I have also found more time to explore new music to listen to, and of course go to some concerts and movies with friends in the meantime!


While it does help if you have a gang of friends who have also recently gotten out of relationships and who can quite literally understand what you are going through like myself, hanging out with friends in general is helpful, distracting, and of course fun! While relationships may not always last, friendship is forever, and your friends will be there when you need them the most.


Lorde isn’t kidding when she sings, “I care for myself the way I used to care about you.” Being single gives me so much more time to focus on myself and no one else but myself for a change.  Self-care is crucial to any kind of healing process and I am not going to take it for granted this time around, and neither should you!

After getting out of any kind of relationship and becoming single once again, sometimes you end up rediscovering yourself yet again; what you love, what you hate, what you appreciate, and perhaps what you don’t appreciate all that much. And it’s important to always know that whatever it is that makes you, you, is completely valid.

Like our “Lorde and savior” said herself, “Life is short, just be yourself.” Yes, relationships are hard and some may even end disastrously, but never let those past failures ever make you forget who you are, because one day, someone is going to understand you and see you for what you are truly worth.